We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

But lay off the clown makeup, girly. Batman isn't out to get you.

Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

If there is a God, his plan is really annoying.

Richard Simmons is always in character. God Bless his family.

Good god, we have gotten so fat that our children are being born fat asses now. ABORT ABORT!

A stainless steal temple is important for all true believers. Nothing says "God loves you", like an expensive temple built in a village in which most the people starve to death.

Bush once said he spoke to god and why wouldn’t he, he is Jesus after all. NOW PASS THAT BREAD!

This is a fun and exciting lamp that you can place on your night stand and read late at night. Now, if only you could read…

A door that becomes a ping pong table!? By the Gods!

Weather men are often overlooked as the newsworthy sex gods they are. That being said, we feel sorry for Pennsylvania. According to jumbo here they are in for a sticky weekend.

"I spy something black and yellow quickly moving… towards my.. Wait a minute. DEAR GOD NO!"

Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

Seriously, someone just needs to take this poor girl aside and euthanize her. Was their a shortage of classy dresses in her trailer? Is she trying to turn guys gay? WHY GOD WHY!?

God, Renee got FAT! Someone needs to take away the plate and show her to a mirror. Or I, Skeletor, will striker her down with the Sword of Greyskull.

Quato, the talking fetus from Total Recall has FINALLY found new work! Thank God, watch him this fall on Fox, your home for quality entertainment.

Thank God this guy took the time to make his custom rims beautiful. Now that's some fine airbrushing!

God hated the muffins you sent him; don’t let it happen again or he'll get your house, too.

O NOES! I'm a gay Mormon pot-head who practices Wicca – I am royally fu©#ed!

Paris doesn't need a bra for support, when she's got God and the good book on her side!