(rollover the picture to reveal the shocking conclusion to this picture's title!)

Lindsay Lohan's getting skinnier, yet bigger. How does that happen?

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

We knew there was something just weird and dark about this guy.

Here's a couple pictures of Audrina that will hopefully convince you to lose weight and/or get boob implants to prepare yourself for spring break.

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.

Brazilian model Sheyla Hershey supposedly has the biggest breasts in the world. They're triple KKK, which we didn't even know existed. You think these are hot?

Basement Horse is always watching you.

Who would have known that underneath Chloe's disturbing lemon scowl there's actually a hot babe bursting at the seams. Despite Jay Leno ruining the picture, she's almost a 10.

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

...the blood out of you!!! Watch out for her teeth...and her boyfriend from Sum 41. That dude will slap you if you mess with Avril!

Somebody call Orkin.

Send this to your friends when they're stoned. Trust us.

Wipe you're tears away, my friends. He's finally gone.

What a comeback. Now all she needs to do is find her brain and she'll finally be complete.

Don't you just want to eat him?

If it's not, than you're not ready to hit the beach, either!

"Stop right there! I know I look like a nerd but I don't want anything to do with you!"

But now she'll give you AIDS.