Fergie looks like the poster child for the Theory of Evolution. Who walks like this and what's with those curlers? Jesus!

Anne Hathaway is proof that milk does a body good. However, sucking on your boyfriend's hairy nipple isn't a strong selling point.

Here's a gallery of how celebrities have aged over the years. One thing's certain: Death always wins!

Proof of reincarnation! Egads!

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

He was shot in the back of the head. What a shame. Now the Sesame Street neighborhood Girl Scouts will never make enough money for their camping trip.

Bob Clark, the director of "Christmas Story," was killed yesterday morning by a drunk driver. Hollywood mourns.

DO NOT ACCUSE LOHAN OF DRUNK DRIVING. She will zap you.

Finally, irrefutable proof. She's too cute for words (though we still wrote some).

The Olsen Twins are now one chick, since both of them are basically half a person.

The Enquirer published ths photo of Anna Nicole's corpse, even though the picture wasn't real. How low will they go?

Victoria Beckham doesn't need to wear a bra over her massive implants. Here's proof.

I'd like to blow up HER Death Star! Knowhadimsayin? Knowhadimsayin?

The grand prize: you’re un-timely death!