Check out this weird commercial of a lawyer advertising on TV that he wants only one client: Paris Hilton.

Paris is getting into shape before prison, and luckily for us man-lovers, her trainer is SUPER hot!!

Britney, Paris, Lindsay and Tara Reid are back and this time they're defending NYC with their Spidey-senses!

While the paparazzi chased Paris as SHE was driving in her Bentley, they caught a glimpse into her window, texting Paris Latsis that she'd 'come by' after her lawyer meeting. She's gettin' some from a dude before she has to give it up to her bull-dyke cellmates!

The paps were hot on Paris Hilton's heels yesterday as she drove HERSELF to a lawyer meeting, after previously getting rides from mom Kathy. Paris, you're bad!

Watch a simulation of Paris Hilton's soon-to-come behind-bars sexcapades!

Paris Hilton constantly inspires art. That's why someone made a wax rendition of her in the middle of a suicide attempt. That won't get you out of prison, Paris!!

Even the wind is against Ms. Hilton as she leaves a courthouse appearance. Remember, Paris, behind bars you only get two pairs of undies per week!

Paris Hilton got sentenced to 45 days in jail! YAY!!!!

When you're so famous that people hire look-alikes to show up naked at parties... that's pretty darn famous.

Seriously, we get it, you've got some amazing new bra that you're trying to create a buzz around. Super. Now make yourself useful and become Volvo airbags.

Not the first time, probably not the last.

Oh, please, like you haven't seen these a thousand times before!

Paris has huge boobs now! When exactly did this happen? How does she pull this off? Why can't I stop looking at them??

The jury is out for some, but for those of us who've been following the recent growth of the celebutard's lady-pillows, I think she's gotten something done.

Ever-freaky Courtney Love looks like a bloated, exploding French maid. Even Paris looks normal next to her.

We show you two celebs and you tell us who you'd rather…you know! Compare your results with the rest of our visitors to see how your tastes match up.

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded!

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded!

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded! Anyone think she looks like an old hag??