This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!

This week Lou grills Harry Potter on the final book, and finds out whether he dies or not!

Philip Norris discusses what kind of lesbian Lindsay Lohan will be.

This week Philip Norris gives you the lowdown on who to vote for in the upcoming election.

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

This week Philip Norris gives you a round-up of the latest news, including a sad story about Britney Spears, who sucks at being a mom.

This week Lou Berk sits down with Britney Spears’ mom, who allegedly had a sexual affair with Kevin Federline.

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!

LG got up close and personal with Will Ferrell and all the stars of the upcoming film Blades of Glory. Was Will able to handle our intense tag team interviews? Watch it and find out!

Warning: Oprah Magazine’s response to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is not for the faint of heart (or stomach).

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

LG news takes a peek into the future to see what will become of David Beckham now that he’s calling California home.

Will K-Fed’s alleged cheating be the straw that breaks the crying, pregnant camel’s back?