This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!

Philip Norris discusses what kind of lesbian Lindsay Lohan will be.

Philip Norris can't afford gas, and so can't you. It's okay, he has a couple solutions.

You think Batman was rich before, wait until he rakes in all of this box office money!

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Philip Norris discusses the art of the celebrity sex tape.

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

This week Philip Norris explains why you have really bad taste in movies. BTW Jared Leto is a tool.

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

This week Britney Spears is knocked up, Tom Cruise is a Mommy, and Carson Daly is still a douche bag.

This week Britney has ADD, Lindsay Lohan's dad has a noonie, and the writers strike...gold!

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.

This week Lou Berk sits down with Oscar de la Hoya and asks him why he dresses like a whore.

Lou Berk sits down with the cousin of that “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE” guy that you’ve seen all over the internet.

This week Philip Norris lays the smack down on Paris, Pavarotti, and Jerry Lewis!

Hayden from Heroes just turned 18, and Lou Berk grills her about allegations of drinking, drugs, and wild sex!