Philip Norris discusses the fact the Britney Spears might be pregnant and who the father could be.

This week Philip Norris explains why you have really bad taste in movies. BTW Jared Leto is a tool.

This week Philip Norris is appalled that Jessica Alba would destroy her body by getting pregnant.

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

Will K-Fed’s alleged cheating be the straw that breaks the crying, pregnant camel’s back?

Food rules this week as Reese is fat, Bush is “Hungary” and Katharine McPhee can’t keep her lunch down.

This week Britney can chew gum and lie at the same time, Stephen Hawking is a cripple, Daryl Hannah was arrested, and Brad Pitt is making Zombie Movies.

This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.

This week Angelina Jolie is pregnant, New Jersey has a new slogan, Pam Anderson hates KFC, and David Hassellhoff is getting a divorce!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.