This week Lou grills Harry Potter on the final book, and finds out whether he dies or not!

Lou is the FIRST to interview Britney Spears, who has just gone cuckoo for Cocopuffs. See her meltdown right before your eyes!

This week Lou Berk tries to interview the snaggle-toothed British band Radiohead. Emphasis on *tries.*

This week Lou Berk sits down with Oscar de la Hoya and asks him why he dresses like a whore.

Lou Berk sits down with the cousin of that “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE” guy that you’ve seen all over the internet.

Hayden from Heroes just turned 18, and Lou Berk grills her about allegations of drinking, drugs, and wild sex!

This week Lou Berk sits down with Britney Spears’ mom, who allegedly had a sexual affair with Kevin Federline.

This week Lou Berk sit down with Lindsay Lohan to discuss her recent arrest! An LG Exclusive!

This week a new face is added to the LG news crew. Lou Berk, our crotchety newsman, speaks with Paris Hilton live from her Five Star Jail Cell.

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.