Lou is the FIRST to interview Britney Spears, who has just gone cuckoo for Cocopuffs. See her meltdown right before your eyes!

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

This week Philip Norris reports on Paris Hilton's brother, Gary Coleman and the writer's strike.

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

This week’s guest is terribly upset that an 8-limbed baby from India is ripping off his style.

This week Philip Norris lays the smack down on Paris, Pavarotti, and Jerry Lewis!

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!

LG news takes a peek into the future to see what will become of David Beckham now that he’s calling California home.

You’ve watched Dateline’s To Catch A Predator show right? Well, that has nothing on this very special news segment from Liquid Generation: To Catch a Baby Predator.

Britney blasts out her second baby, The Pope blasts Islam and Madonna blasts off. Philip Norris knows it all – because he’s not a stupid woman.

Terrorists go to jail, Robin Williams goes to rehab, and Heather Mills goes fence-hopping. Philip Norris has the stories… and photos of Suri?

Lance is out, Al Qaida wants war, and the Tour De France is a crack house. Philip Norris is on the scene – unless he gets hit by the Girls Gone Wild bus.

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.

Is Suri Cruise an imaginary baby? Which game system is for racists? Which celebrity roof caught on fire? Philip Norris has the answers!

The hottest new baby – that’s NOT a Scientologist!

What’s with Tom Cruise naming his Scientology baby Suri? How about Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby, Moses? Why do celebrities insist on naming their babies such stupid names?

This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.