This week Philip Norris comments on Hugh Hefners comment about Miley Cyrus in Playboy, and how people are into some weird sex crap.

Philip Norris discusses the art of the celebrity sex tape.

Heath Ledger is dead and Philip Norris is angry. Find out why, and what his rant has to do with soccer balls!

Hayden from Heroes just turned 18, and Lou Berk grills her about allegations of drinking, drugs, and wild sex!

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is in jail – and he’s filmed a sex tape! Everything’s hot and nothing’s consensual!

Paris Hilton’s belongings! We’ve found’em! You’ll want them! And most all – you’ll want to have sex with them!

The O.C. is dead. Liquid Generation tries to make sense of a senseless world.

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

Mel faces Jail, New York faces heat, and Paris faces the press (and looks dumb). Philip Norris has the latest, and doesn’t have sex with boys!

Someone had sex with Anna Nicole and Batwoman is a huge lesbo.

In this episode, Philip Norris applauds Craigslist sex and hopes that other websites will help people get their freak on.

This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.