Philip Norris explains why Adam Lambert lost American Idol and why Americans hate the gays. Good Times!

Heath Ledger is dead and Philip Norris is angry. Find out why, and what his rant has to do with soccer balls!

This week’s guest is terribly upset that an 8-limbed baby from India is ripping off his style.

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

The O.C. is dead. Liquid Generation tries to make sense of a senseless world.

You’ve watched Dateline’s To Catch A Predator show right? Well, that has nothing on this very special news segment from Liquid Generation: To Catch a Baby Predator.

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

Britney blasts out her second baby, The Pope blasts Islam and Madonna blasts off. Philip Norris knows it all – because he’s not a stupid woman.

Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.

In this special report, Philip Norris discusses violent video games like the upcoming Bully by Rockstar Games and tells you why they’re good for America.

Star Jones wallows in self pity, Wacko Jacko moves to Europe and Jessica isn’t good enough for Dallas.

This week Britney can chew gum and lie at the same time, Stephen Hawking is a cripple, Daryl Hannah was arrested, and Brad Pitt is making Zombie Movies.

This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.