This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!

Philip Norris walks you through his five step plan on how to save on the Holidays during the recession. Look out Martha Stewart!

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

Philip Norris discusses last week's news report about Heath Ledger's death and celebrity drinking and drug use.

Heath Ledger is dead and Philip Norris is angry. Find out why, and what his rant has to do with soccer balls!

This week’s guest is terribly upset that an 8-limbed baby from India is ripping off his style.

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.

This week Lour Berk talks to Dumbledore about his gayness and why he’s so gay.

This week Philip Norris talks OJ, Britney and all those other people you love to hate.

This week Philip Norris gives you a round-up of the latest news, including a sad story about Britney Spears, who sucks at being a mom.

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

This week a new face is added to the LG news crew. Lou Berk, our crotchety newsman, speaks with Paris Hilton live from her Five Star Jail Cell.

What happens when Britney, Lindsay and Paris get together for a night on the town? Lasers shoot out of their noonies.

To get publicity for his new movie, Optimus Prime released a sex tape. Host Lou Berk has the dirt.

Did you see Simon Cowell roll his eyes at Chris Richardson during American Idol? According this video, Simon has a history of being a heartless bastard.

Watch your little girls when you watch American Idol – or else Sanjaya will turn them into the devil!