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Ball Busting Vids Will Make You Impotent

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 09 2009, 3:31 PM

If God was so smart, why did he design male genetalia to be 1) as low as it is and 2) totally unprotected. He gave turtles a hardshell and that animal is just about useless if you ask me. Humans created space shuttles, heavy metal music and Maury Povich. They should be protected, especially the itsty bitsy parts of them that makes babies. Such poor design decisions, God. If Steve Jobs was your boss you'd be totally fired.

Today, as Nancy Pelosi was walking somewhere and being important, a reporter following her totally crashed his balls into something that was not a Femaie Baby Incubator. Here's that video, and some others featuring guys who might not be able to get an erection anymore.

 

Reporter takes a dive. Woops.

 

We feel that the Japanese dudes featured in this video actually LOVE being hit in the crotch.

 

This guy's balls actually flew up through his stomach and out of his mouth, but you can't see it due to YouTube's crappy video quality.

 

Finally, these guys are true friends.

 

 

Metal Only

Metal Only

Metal can be found anywhere.

 

Beats with Balls

Beats with Balls

Heavy Metal isn't the only music with big balls.

 

Twin Tesla Coils Play Super Mario Bros

Twin Tesla Coils Play Super Mario Bros

This is even better than America's favorite acoustic heavy metal band, Tesla, covering the Mario theme.

 

Taint Nothing To It

Taint Nothing To It

What happens when you insert metal pins through your taint and attach them to a rope, all in order to pull a car for your friends? A wicked awesome time, that’s what!

 

Heavy Metal Diet

Heavy Metal Diet

Follow the greats like Axl Rose and Tommy Lee and get yourself in fighting shape with the Heavy Metal Diet. Side effects include alcoholism, herpes and heroin addiction.

 

Lindsay Rides in Her Bikini

Lindsay Rides in Her Bikini

Lindsay puts the pedal to the metal at Venice Beach. Don't they have bikes in the 'bu?

 

Kickin' It Old Skool trailer

Kickin' It Old Skool trailer

Jamie Kennedy has done it again. And this time, he's breakdancing.

 

How Totally 80's Are You?

How Totally 80's Are You?

The 80’s were so awesome, it makes you wish the 90’s and today never happened. So give those Ghostbusters toys a rest for a moment and take this quiz: it’ll tell you exactly what kind of 80’s person you are (like a Yuppie, a New Waver or a Valley Kid). Also, be sure to see Kickin’ It Old Skool, in theaters April 27!

 

Sexy Airport Security

Sexy Airport Security

Forget removing your shoes and belt – this hottie takes it ALL off when going through the metal detector!

 

Kelly Clarkson Drunk

Kelly Clarkson Drunk

Kelly Clarkson chugging Jack Daniels with a metal band. Oh Kelly"" you're soooo hardcore!!

 

Kubrick Audition Tape

Kubrick Audition Tape

This guy thought he could be in Full Metal Jacket. Now he just stars on the internets!!!

 

Metal Midget

Metal Midget

Heavy Metal fans come in all shapes and sizes.

 

Metal By Numbers

Metal By Numbers

Comedian Brian Posehn vs. Poseur Metal -- Who You WITH?

 

Eat My Skate

Eat My Skate

Nothing tastes better than some nice shinny metal shoved in your mouth.

 

April Showers or Death Metal Album

April Showers or Death Metal Album

We always get April showers and death metal albums mixed up. Maybe that’s because we believe in the devil?

 

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

What  Kind of Rocker Are You?

What kind of rocker are you? Indie Rocker? Hair Metal Rocker? Or are you one of those super scary Christian Rock Rockers!?!