Pluto must have been kicked in the crotch one too many times and decided to run down this little brat. So much for "happiest place on Earth".

Stevie the Seal is now available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and birthday parties! Call now for group rates!

It's July 2nd, 2007, and Lindsay Lohan has finally turned 21!

Some zoological geniuses cross-bred a zebra and a horse. Now if they can just get it to mate with a unicorn, I can finally die happy.

Happy Paris was greeted by the press and her family outside Lynwood Correction Facility at her releasal Monday night.

He's perfect for Christmas, Hanukkah, birthdays and swinger parties!

Everyone knows Rusky Slovak commie meat-heads are a waste of vodka, but these two douches sucker-punch a guy's gal. They get theirs, though!

Happy birthday, Hot Stuff! This stud's got a big ol' pile of frosting *just* for you!

Well I don’t know if you can really call this an acoustic performance, but either way it’s pretty frickin’ entertaining. The Harlem Shakes are one of those bands where the term “collective” actually applies. This was one of three songs they played for us from their debut EP titled Burning Birthdays. Look for them on tour this Summer!

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

This baby is already an awesome breakdancer, probably 'cause he's got a really cool dad. I want to hire him at my next birthday party.

Johnny Knoxville is a funny guy. And a good friend.

Yep. More DJ AM birthday bash photos. Come on, people, it's right there on the table! I have EYES!

Paris partied in Vegas this weekend for her birthday on the 17th. Here's some exclusive footage!

Seriously, you know you're awesome when you're partying with midgets. My friends had better take note: I want midgets at my birthday party!

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis, larger brother of Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, attended Paris Hilton's recent birthday bash in Vegas. It appears as though he pissed himself, as well!

Paris Hilton showed up at her own birthday party with what looked like foundation clumsily smeared on her face, and sparkle lotion glooped on her chest. Doing your make-up in the limo, Paris?

The Fall Out Boy song, "Carpal Tunnel of Love," with animations by Happy Tree Friends! Whee!

I love what you do for me! Toyota!

Here is our take on the most ridiculous things that happened in the year 2006. Happy New Year!