Watch the uncensored version of Paris Hilton’s new music video Stars Are Blind. It’s sexier than her sex tape and it won’t get you in trouble if you watch it at work!

Get ready ladies, you're about to see the hottest man in the universe. Just be sure to have a barf bag next to you.

Watch this kitty get down with itself right before you're eyes! (Don't watch this if you're horny).

If Superheroes get old, I bet a lot of people would want to change their diapers.

Who ever said college was just about getting a degree?

These boobs didn’t finish college, so they got jobs at the boob factory.

Hollywood’s got our kids dressing in black face. Oh Mammy!

We always get April showers and death metal albums mixed up. Maybe that’s because we believe in the devil?

Smack us with a Big Mac. We get our baseball mascots and friends of Ronald McDonald mixed up ALL the time.

In this episode, Philip Norris applauds Craigslist sex and hopes that other websites will help people get their freak on.

It almost looks like their heads are going to spin off their bodies and explode.

Star Jones almost died this week from getting a boob job. In this episode, Philip Norris ponders a world without this very fat lady who annoys the crap out of all of us.

We went down to SXSW and captured live footage from Snow Patrol, We Are Scientists, Metric, Morningwood, The Kooks, The Magic Numbers.

This is a game of skill, memory and the extremely retarded dance stylings of American Idol contestant Taylor “I got the ticks” Hicks!

It’s a St. Patty’s Day tradition. You get drunk, you vomit, you crawl to your computer, and you send a friend our latest Angry Leprechaun e-card. So what are ya waiting for, ya flippin’ prostitute?

We totally get The Sopranos and Brian Boitano mixed up, like, all the time!

If The Sopranos has taught us anything, it’s that nothing is sexier than a rotund, serial killing mobster. That type of guy gets the chicks every time.

Dick Cheney, Aerosmith, Gun-Loving Freaks. You gotta love America.

A video mashup of Tom Cruise being smacked down by Oprah. Oh how we love us some mashups!

Okay, we get it. You love animals, especially flying rats. Katie, you look stupid.