In theaters 12-21-07. Based on the hit Broadway musical which tells the infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett.

Chairy, the loveable and slightly obese furniture from the Pee Wee Herman show, was found discarded a few months ago. It just goes to show you, human or furniture, no one likes a fat girl. Tear.

Danny Bonaduce Knocked out Johnny Fairplay at the FOX Reality TV awards. No one knows what started the brawl, but it was widely accepted that no one cared.

One robot plays the theremin, which is crazy enough, while another provides the beat.

In theaters 1-25-08. Jerry inadvertently erases all of the videos in his friend's store. In order to keep the store's one loyal customer, an elderly lady with a tenuous grasp on reality, the pair re-create a long line of films including The Lion King, Rush Hour, Ghostbusters, When We Were Kings, Back to the Future, Driving Miss Daisy, and Robocop, putting themselves and their townspeople into it.

In theaters 11-30-2007. A group of medical students devise a deadly game: to see which one of them can commit the perfect murder.

No one should ever be penalized for leaving the ice and completely leveling their opponent. If anything they should rewarded for making hockey watch able.

M.I.T students took the day off "learninating" and Master Chiefed one of the statues on their campus. Run Away!

Diana Ross thought that no one would recognize her without makeup. Unfortunately an old woman died of a heart attack when she mistook Mrs. Ross for Death.

Milton Bradley was injured yesterday in one of the most embarassing ways possible. His own coach tossed him to the ground and tore his ACL.

Gisele is selling shoes or some shiz and this new ad is meant to catch your attention. One question, water is transparent, why can't we see the gooch?

Courtney Love is currently preparing for a zombie death match with Kurt over how she has ruined Nirvana's legacy one paycheck at a time.

She's a one-eyed, one-horned, really fat celebrity who might eat you. There comes a time when you should no longer be in love with your body. That time is now, Beth.

Jennifer Lopez is so money, that she doesn’t even use regular sunglasses. They serve only one purpose, to remind you why you hate her.

Here’s a special encore performance from one of the best bands we have ever had in the LG studios and who have gone on to do quite well this year!

Pluto must have been kicked in the crotch one too many times and decided to run down this little brat. So much for "happiest place on Earth".

This one time at band camp, there was like sex everywhere. The G note was doing the A from behind. And the B-flat was blowing C.

… is not like the others. Poor little pasty Jan Brady got lost amongst a sea of breasticles. She needed some of that fake Britney ab tan.

You haven't had teriyaki until you have tried a spiced alligator tail. Delicious! Excuse us, we need to hit the reset button. (Shoves finger into throat)

If you have ever wondered what a hideous and washed up super model, full of meth and coke, looked like...