Rumors of Elmo's Departure Are Not Slightly Exaggerated

Liquid Generation's Elmo, who has come to work drunk for most of her 4.5 years at this company, has left the building. She's gone, folks. She's never coming back. This past Friday, she uploaded her last viral video, turned in her parking pass (I hope), and drove her dirty Ford Mustang through the Lohan-abused streets of Los Angeles for the last time. Get a bucket for your tears as we go back in time to take a look at the Greatness of one of Liquid Generation's Drunkest...

This is Elmo back in the day. In our old offices in Chicago. Our company was poor back then and couldn't afford to repair our walls. Apparently, Elmo couldn't afford to get a decent haircut either. Bangs, Elmo? The whole Janeane Garofoao-Reality Bites-Circa-1994 haircut was a big deal...in 1994. Or were you going for the Uma Thurman/Pulp Fiction look? In any case, that sweater is frickin' ugly.

When Elmo was first hired at Liquid Generation to help us with some programming, a couple things were immediately clear.  1) She had a bad attitude. And by "bad" I don't mean Adolf Hilter-bad. She was "bad" like Michael Jackson in that she was a pedophile. Okay, I'm kidding. She was "bad" in that you never wanted to mess with her unless you wanted her to verbally tear you an a-hole. I personally tried to not ever talk to her unless I had a funny comeback. She was quick like that. And 2)  She dressed funny. She's not dressed for a skit in the photo above. That's how she actually went to work every day.

This is Elmo dipping her nose into ketchup during a skit we filmed a couple years ago. I think I know Elmo fairly well. She's a vegetarian. She likes tattoos, and has several of them. She plays Roller Derby (the position that scores). She grew up in a town close to where I grew up and she is not a lesbian (most of the time). Still, I don't think I know whether or not she likes ketchup.

Funny story. When Elmo first started here our CEO, Tyrese Abdul Mohammad, was worried that all the testosterone in our company would eventually make Elmo go crazy or just leave. She was our first female employee and I'm sure there was cause for concern. Rightly so. We took enormous pleasure in annoying her because it was just so much fun. For some reason we started calling her "Smello" and Tyrese was thought this was just to much for her to handle. Not so. A little known secret about Elmo: she has balls. Big ones. Lay yours on the table and you will lose the Bigger Balls Competition. Trust me, I've tried and lost. She can take it as much as she can give it. Except in this video [coming soon...need to find it!]. I think she was on her period.

Fun fact: Elmo has tattoos on her arms. Of what, I don't know. Looks like some demented version of the Grateful Dead logo. Kinda? Okay maybe I'm just way wrong. Fireballs?

We're in trouble. Elmo voiced A LOT of parts for us. She's been the host of Whoose Boobs for the last few years. She does a wicked Tara Reid -- the best you'll find anywhere. As one of the only girls in our office she kind of landed the position of Chief Girl Voice by default. But still, she pretty good -- but most of all -- funny. One of my favorite voices of hers? Little Jessica. Nothing is more retarded or hilarious.

Fun Fact: Elmo and Monkey loved to talk fashion, and this lie is not just a reason to post this disturbing photo.

I could write more...about how Elmo was a huge part of this company...about how she was kind, funny...the voice of reason when deciding whether or not a joke or toon was hilarious, or just racist/stupid/mean...or just...stupid. But one only has to have met Elmo and looked at all the stuff we've created over the years to know that she was/is a major part of what we're doing here at Liquid Generation. She helped give birth to, and nurture, what we believe is one of the funniest and most original voices on internet. All of us at the company appreciate the work she's done at LG...plow thru our website for a few hours and I'm sure you'll feel the same.

We love you, Elmo!

Good luck! Cheers!

Have fun doing whatever the hell you're going to do next!

And now to cap off the evening...here's a tribute video we've made for Elmo. See if you can count the number of hairstyles/hair colors she's had over the last few years!

A Tribute to Elmo - Liquid Generation's Drunkard Emeritus