May 29, 2007

Lohan's Official Statement: Read Between The Lines

TMZ just posted an official statement from the Lohan camp, regarding the drunken starlet's re-admittance into rehab.  Liquid Generation has hired a celebrity translator to decode the statement, to determine what's really being said behind the PR smoke screen.

Here's the statement:

"Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility."

Now let's read between the lines:

"Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day -- in this case, the phrase "Lindsay," in reference to Lindsay Lohan, does not refer to Lindsay Lohan at all, but rather her manager, agent, her so-called friends and non-incarcerated family members.  Because this is a medical matter -- as well as a matter of being a drunk party brat who gets off on acting like a drugged-out coke slut for paparazzi -- it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility -- but at the same time, will not stop taking pictures of her and writing articles and blogs about her, in order to keep her famous until she recovers, so she can land another lead role in a horrible movie that will tank."
Posted by Roadblock under Lindsay Lohan on Tue: 29-05-07 07:13 PM CDT | 0 Comments | Permalink
 
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