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Jack Birch Responds
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Jack Birch, father of actress Thora Birch, is receiving a lot of
heat for being on set while his daughter filmed a sex scene in a recent
movie. You can read about it here on Liquid Generation. Below he offers his exclusive response.
Hey
listen. I’m an old man, alright? I ain’t got much longer to live and
you’re gonna bust my balls just cause I want to go watch my little girl
have simulated sex on a movie set? Come on!
Here’s the
thing. When people get older it’s natural for them to want to live
vicariously through their kids. Relive a little bit of the glory days,
ya know? Ya see it all the time in professional sports. A baseball
player takes their old man out on to the field or a football player
gives their pops the ball that won the game. People go cock-hard for
that sentimental bull-sh*t all the time. So why’s it so different for
me? Why can’t I go watch my little girl have fake sex? Share a little
bit of her glory? It’s not even that weird. I was a porn star for
cripes sake. I would go vag-jabbing for real when the camera rolled.
This simulated stuff is like G-Rated to me. I swear it’s like I might
as well be watching The Great Mouse Detective or some sh*t.
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Besides,
to be honest with ya, I never really could help Thora out with any of
her real movies. I don’t know nothing about no legitimate acting.
Like when she was doing that Hocus Pocus movie I tried to help. I
tried to be like “if you see a witch you should act all scared, like oh
no it’s a witch”. But honestly I was just pulling that sh*t out of my
ass. I’m no acting coach, and she knows that. She was real sweet
about it and all. Thora’s a really good girl and she treats her old
man right. But I could just never be there for her the way she
needed. And now I can be there for, I got a little wisdom I could pass
on about screwing on camera and you’re gonna treat me like some kind of
monster. Well sorry pal but you’re the monster here, not me. It’s not
like I’m getting off on it or nothing.
Listen I’ll be honest. I
do get off on it. I get hard watching my daughter have sex! Ya gonna
sue me or something? I mean I’m dying over here. I have rickets. I
know not a lot of people over the age of 13 get rickets and when they
do it’s almost never fatal but listen… I’ve been eating nothing but
Elio’s Pizza for the last 18 years. It’s not that I’m poor, it’s just
that I love Elio’s Pizza. And now the doctor says I’m gonna die for
eating what I love. Oh well, guess that’s the price I gotta pay and I
wouldn’t change things even if I could.
But still, you gonna stop a dying man from jerking off all over the set of his little girls movie while she’s having fake
sex? Are you really gonna do that? F*** you.
- Jack Birch (Thora Birch's Dad)
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Posted by
Doc Manhattan
under
Celebrity Action
on Tue: 27-03-07 03:02 PM CDT |
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