B-Rat TV

Brett Ratner is back with a blog about his latest TV deal! 

So by now you’ve read the big news over in Vag-riety but let me say it again cause I know you love hearing it!  B-Rat is coming to TV for the very first time… or the second or third time.  I’m not sure.  That show Fast Lane that was on Fox a few years ago, I may have produced that.  I don’t remember.  But that was definitely me or McG.  Honestly, I get my work mixed up with his a lot.  Like, I’m still pretty sure I directed Charlie’s Angels.  I don’t care what the box says.  But whatever.  Point is; I’m about to slam your small screen with some movie sized magic!  Just like I just slammed Lana Wachowski’ newly constructed vagina with my over-sized cock!  (That’s right, I did Lana Wachowski just to piss off her brother!  Ha ha ha ha Andy!  Your brother’s a chick now and she’s getting boned by Hollywood’s biggest scum bag; ME!)

Anyway My new show is called Blue Blood!  Sand it’s gonna be awesome!  It’s about this dude who went to Harvard (aka: Dork-Fag University) who decides to be a cop!  It’s crazy because the question is; how will this nerd who spent four years training to be a pussy be a good cop?  Every week it’ll be like “can the pussy cop pick up a gun” or “will the pussy cop be able to shoot an unarmed suspect” and all stuff like that.  It’s gonna be amazing!  Anyway, check out the first episode because I (or someone I monitor pretty closely) will be directing!