Answer The Anorexics #1

It's been awhile since I searched the internets for pro-anorexia websites. I truly believe that if you're going to go to a website that promotes anorexia, you might as well go to mine. As the Most Famous Anorexic in the History of Anorexia, I have the most to say about it. And I am always correct.

But I know what you're thinking. "Lindsay, you're not anorexic anymore." Yes, it may be true that I've gained a few pounds, but I am still skinnier than you and most people I know (except for you MK -- I hate you). I am Thinspiration x1000. If you read my blog you'll drop ten pounds in 10 minutes. I swear.



Well all this surfing led me to a Live Journal website where girls discuss ways to stop eating. And they write poetry! Reading their entries makes me feel so sad. They feel so lost. So aimless. So out of touch. I think they need a leader. Someone to look up too. Then I thought: why can't this be me, Lindsay Lohan? I will be Live Journal's Pro-anorexia Ambassador! What does this job entail? Responding to the blog posts of the anorexics that worship me of course!!!!



Let's get started.



This first post comes from CryingLifeAway:

just sharing...



i haven't stopped crying.. for the past 3 hours..;



I found a dress for my ugly body for my cousin's confirmation



and all bran bars are the best...



I cut one up and that's the only thing i eat all day.. .



130 calories... that's it.. loves it..&



my eldest cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid at the wedding.. FAST!!! UNTIL NEXT YEAR..lol

WoW. I'm really worried about this girl eating only 130 calories a day. This is DANGEROUSLY LOW. When I was at my skinniest I was eating no less than 500 calories a day, and I lost weight just fine. Of course, there were those days I'd splurge and swallow some man-juic.....ahhh. Well that's not for this blog. All I'm saying is that you can eat a little more. And when you have those days when you're feeling a little bloated, nothing takes the fat off like a little nose candy.



Here's another from My Dull Ache:

Ok. Two things...



1. I've lost about 7 pounds in the span of a

week and a few days. (105 to 97) I don't see any change. None. Then I

had an epiphany at work. You loose muscle before you loose fat, am I

right? Yeah, high school bio, I know. So is that why I don't see any

change?



2. Give me ideas on what I should eat for dinner. I'm at a loss. I'm looking to keep it in the 300 calories or less range.





Thanks

You're probably not seeing any changes in your body because you're delusional. We get like this when we're rapidly losing weight. You look in the mirror and you see a fat ugly duckling. Other people look at you and see a skinny ugly duckling. Just like when you hear your voice in a home video...it sounds weird! Well the same thing happens when we look at ourselves.



One last one before I go out...from Srching4smthng.

Is there anyone here who is trying to get pregnant/is pregnant? I want

to start trying after I graduate in May. My goal is to be 105--still

healthy enough to get pregnant I think, I was just wondering how ED has

affected getting pregnant or staying pregnant...and if anyone was

pregnant...how did the pregnancy go? Thanks

OMG! You want to have a baby! This IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA. 105 seems like a pretty good weight to maintain a healthy baby. You def don't want to get as big as Fatney Spears did when she was pregnant. Cottage Cheese on the ass doesn't look so nice. Just a warning tho: Your ribs might disappear when you get pregnant. Don't let this scare you into an abortion though. Being from Hollywood, I know plenty of tricks  to make sure the bones that you've worked so hard on getting everybody to see stay seen! You've heard of spray on tan, right? Well you can spray ribs onto your body so it looks like you've never gained a pound. There are lots of these places in The Bev Hills...not sure about your podunk town....But to answer your question, I've never been preggers so I'm really the wrong person to ask about how ED effects a jesus fetus.



Okay, that's all for now, kids. See ya with a burger in your mouth...



L&L-LL

COURTNEY LOVE DOESN'T VOMIT NTO A TOWEL?

Everybody's been making such a big deal about Courtney Love and her weight loss. She's been showing off her body to everybody lately...while she doesn't look absolutely wretched, she does look pretty horrible. What's funny is that she claims she hasn't been vomiting into a towel...she's been drinking Slim Fast.



Slim Fast! Please! I don't know anybody who's ever lost any weight from not sticking their finger down their throat and shooting that rainbow colored goodness all over the toilet seat. Here's a post from Courtney on her official fan site.

oh perez got it from pge six nd ots bulls**t



i couldnt get that suregry iof i begged for it



FDA

says you have to have a BMI of above 40 and that equals at least being

100 pounds overweight at least other wsie its ILLEGAL.



I know

spmeone who troed to get that sh*t and no dr would give it to her an

dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe

hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by

determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah

losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis

nonsesne my breath is great and i dont “vomit inot a towel” it sjust

cynical crazy bullsh*t,

i started weight training three days go to

get rid of the saggy ass and loose tummy i pln on hving perrrfect six

pack by summer, and be extra strong so when i play shows ill be strong

nd not weak,



Thizs is bullsh*t as is the tummy tuck rumour or

the 200k in liopo rumpur ( you dont lose eoght all over from lipo) (

noone loses more than 15 lbs from lipo ever they “resculpt”) thi

sisjust nnoying gross BULLSHIT. from people who cant lose wieght

through ld fashioned discipline but dont think for second if it was

legal i wouldnt think bout it sure i would but losing ll you rintesines

doesnt appeal to me and im ton macro so i dont get cancer ( i kno wthe

smnoking hs to go) banding s supposed to up your vchances for colon

cancer as well as other terroble health problems,

again this is

BULLS**T. i worked my ss off and m always f**king hingry though ive

gotten used to it, bno dr in the world would give me gastric bypass or

gastric banding i dont meet the pproval of ny western country , it

would be illegal and im[ossible fvor me to find dr to perform this

surgery on me.



zso thats THAT.



Jealous Cynical people who

anta cceopt that somneone cn lose alot of weight the old fshioned wy

ive exercised mya ss off obv iously not enough in my stomach but xdone

tons and tons aof cardio, so enough said on this nonsense jealous

cynical lie.

good night.

WoW Courtney. Maybe in addition to some slim fast you should get yourself a spell checker. I understood like two words of that.

I just don't understand why the rest of Hollywood is denying they have a weight problem. I know there's a stigma attached to it, but I feel that being open is the best course of action for any person suffering an addiction...alcohol...drugs...vomiting....excessive exercising...that's why I started this blog. I want to be open to all of you so you can be just like me. Or maybe not. While I don't consider myself any type of role model, I do know the power I hold over all the people reading this blog, and all the people who read US Magazine and constantly look at pictures of me doing whatever.



You people look up to me. You feel you know me. You want to be like me.



I'll try to make you proud.



Love and Laxatives,



Lindsay Lohan

MY SUPPOSED REHAB SONG

Okay...I just saw this...I don't know whether to be offended or just laugh. The people who made this are probably a bunch of little bitches. First of all, I am not that much of a drunk or drug abuser. Second of all...I LOOK SO FREAKING FAT IN THIS CARTOON! WHAT THE TITS?

WEEKEND THINSPIRATION

When ever you're feeling down, when ever you're feeling fat, whenever you just need that little extra push. Jenna Jameson. Porn Star. Former Fatty. And now just really, really skin. Damn she looks good here...so much better than before.

I Have Nothing Against Asians, I Just Don't Date Them

Okay, for the record people. I am not dating DJ Aoki, and it's not because he's Asian. It's because I heard Asians aren't that well endowed. Me being the celebrity that I am, I must uphold standards. I am Lindsay Lohan after all. People expect me to be with someone beautiful. Not this:

LOL APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Did I get you? Since everyone and their drunken mother was doing there little lame April Fool's jokes the other day I thought I'd skip out and do mine a few days later. Hahahaha. You thought I hate Asians. LOL. I so do not hate orientals at all.



But really, every since I've had my photos snaped with Aoki, people want to right stories saying I that I have finally found somebody.

I'm sorry to report that I am still very much single. Dating, yet single. <My old rehab counselor says i'm not ready for a relationship yet. First he's says I need to get a plant. Make sure it lives for a few months. Then I get a dog. Make sure it lives for a year. Then after that, when nothing or noone in my life is dead or dying, then maybe i can get into a full blown relationship.



Until then I'm just going to date as many guys as I can and not get committed to anyone. Commitment is so overrated anyway. I like dating a lot of guys. It's not slutty for girls to date a lot. If I was a guy people would think I was "just being a guy." People see a girl who dates a lot and they call her a slut. I might be slutty but I'm not a slut.



I started having sex when I was 17 years old. Now that I'm in my twenties I've had more than my fair share of guys. I think all girls should start having sex -- NOT AT A CERTAIN AGE -- but when they think they're ready. Or when they're friends start having sex. Oprah makes such a big deal that kids have oral sex in the back of a bus, or thro rainbow parties --- this is what people do, Oprah. Get off your hi hourse and have some FUN. Just cause you can't have babies and you used to be a crack addict, don't ruin our fun.



IN THE FUTURE, WE ARE ONLY GOING TO LIVE ONCE.





In other news, wannabe anorexic rawker queen Courtney Love needs to stop sun bathing.

STRECH THAT STOMACH OUT, COURTNEY! NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF SKINNIER! LOLZ!!!!!!







WoW. This picture might be the best argument on why people might want NOT lose weight and stay fat. The Quartnee Love Syndrome.

Love & Laxatives,



LL



P.S. I have a Twitter account, bitches. You can keep up with when I'm puking on your mobile or IM. I AM AWESOME.