DEAREST LOVE, MS. BRITNEY SPEARS

Britney....

What are you doing? Where are you going? You're lost.

Britney, I'm like you. Always going places. People always talking to me. People always looking at me. People was grasping onto me like leeches, like blood sucking leeches. Parasites. MyMomMyDadKatoCalienHowardKSternPaparazzi they're all the same. They're only going one place, Britney, and that's to nowhere.

You and I we're differnt. That's why we have to take care of ourselves. We have to be ourselves.

In the past couple of weeks i've gained a few pounds. I too have been to a few rehab centers. They do some help, Brit. Sure I still go out partying, and yes I'm typing this after a night at Hyde, and yes I might be a little typsy.

But just remember something Brit: They do not control you. They do not own you. Cut off your hair. Shave your body. Give it all away on ebay, whatever. They can have it. You dont' need it.

You don't need anything or anyone.

i <3 floggingmolly

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll thank for all the things you did in my life
If I ever leave this world alive
I'll come back down and sit beside your
feet tonight
Wherever I am you'll always be
More than just a memory
If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive
I'll take on all the sadness
That I left behind
If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right
Yeah should be alright

SECRETS TO LOSING WEIGHT #4543

In case you didn't know, the best way to lose weight is to take a bunch of laxatives, shove or pour them down your throat, and then sit by the toilet. But in case you're on vacation in New Mexico, you can just pop a squat and unload on the beach. Like my friend Ashley Olsen.

SO HOLLYWOOD IS A YEAR BEHIND, GO FIGURE

So I've been looking around the internets at all the pictures of celebrities and i've noticed something....

NOT ONLY DO MY FANS WANT TO BE LIKE ME, BUT OTHER CELEBRITIES WANT TO BE LIKE ME....

Damn. It's like if i'm not trendsetting with my clothes & movies, I'm totally setting the wave of the future with my body...

Check out this story I just found: Is Angelina Jolie Anorexic? Well, duh, of course she's anorexic...have you seen pictures of her lately? the craziest one is when she was pregnant...


I know I'm recovering, but I can't help but believe this is how skinny every pregnant women should be...I have a feeling mothers say they have to "eat for two" because they have an obesity problem.

Here's another one for you. When I was at the height of my anorexia I had great arms, but I did hear stories about ana women getting veiny because of the drastic weightloss. Looks like Angelina's barfing is making her turn for the worse. Please angelina! Take pills instead of barfing!

But she's not the only one following my ana trendsetting...let's take a look around Hollywood to see who's skinny and who's a fatty.

Kate Moss looks like she's riding on the Chunky Highway lately...



Can somebody tell this fat whore Scarlett Johansson that's she not that hot and that she weighs like a billion pounds. Damn, it looks like if you stab her 2% MILK will come shooting out of her. Get on a bicycle, Scarlett JoButtNutz!

Now for some of my favs....


Kate Bosworth has come a long way since she was the little piggy in Blue Crush. But why does she look so sad in the above pic? Is it because she thinks she's too fat? Well, Kate...perseverance...

Damn...look how fat kate used to be? She's come a long, long way from the Chubby Train.

And now for a bit of perfect thinspiration for you all...

Look at this perfection! Bellisima, Keira Knightley! Bellisima! When people say it's okay to be fat, don't you think they're a little insane?

TYRA???




Please tell me Tyra Banks is wearing a fat suit here?

Love & Laxatives,

LL

I AM NOT GOING TO WORK UNTIL I AM GOOD AND READY

Hey ya'll...greetings from the Coffee Bean on Sunset and Fairfax. You know who I saw here recently? That fat gay Perez Hilton of PerezHilton.com....he works here....he looks a lot uglier in person. Like half pig / half puerto rican. That is one serious combo...but there he was typing away on his laptop in the back of the coffee shop there....I think I got out of there without him noticing me....

...and here I am with my laptop. The Wonderland Rehab Center lets me go out during the day, and I come back when I want to. Sometimes I just sleep at the Chauteau at night because it's home. The trouble starts when I hear the clinking of glasses....then my blackberry blows up...and then before you know it I'm having the urge to slide down to Hyde to be with my friends...

Does alcoholic urge ever go away? Is there ever going to be a moment when I don't see a vodka ad and say, "damn, I really would like a drink."

Only time will tell....

Same goes with my eating. I haven't eaten a lot today. Even at this coffee shop the only thing I'm having is a small tea...

During my skinny days that's all I drank was tea. Tea and soup, tea and soup. Nothing gets you skinnier, girls, than tea and soup. It will make you crap, it will make your skin nice (unless you smoke a lot), and it just makes you feel lite....

But then you can do too much of that..which I did....

BUT DAMN....EVEN ME WRITNG ABOUT IT MAKES ME WANT TO BACK TO THOSE DAYS!!!!!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

My friends want to bring me to Jerry's Deli tomorrow for breakfast...which I'm totally scared of because they have the fattest omlettes EVAH!. Good stuff, but damn, might as well eat a whole cow......

Need to stop writng about food...

Need to stop seeing alcohol ads...

I'm out.

LL