LINDSAY LOHAN'S EMACIATION PROCLAMATION

Hi! I'm Lindsay Lohan: singer, actress and a PROUD anorexic! Anywho, welcome to my website! Here is where you'll come to get the skinny on my personal life and how YOU TOO can eventually look like Skeletor. Be sure read and take the "Emaciation Proclamation" oath and you'll soon be on your way to looking beautifully anorexic. Update: I'm in Utah, totally dreaming of booze.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

I am so not a coke whore!!!!

In between my Pilates class and a tricycle stroll in Malibu this morning I heard reports that my toxicology reports came back from the place and there have been traces of cocaine in my bloodstream.

I want to set the record straight: Like Paris Hilton, who finally admitted to never taking drugs in her life, I too have never taken drugs. I've never seen a joint. I've never snorted blow off Aaron Carter's penis.

I have been living a lie.

I used to think it was cool to tell people I like shoving cocaine up my nose and vagina. But no, it's not cool. Drugs are bad. They're bad stuff.

And why am I in rehab if I've never used drugs?

Because I'm doing research for a movie i want to make about what's it's like to be famous in Hollywood. Plus, I like being by the beach.

"But Lindsay" you're probably saying, "What about all that blow the cops found in your car?"

It's wasn't mine, plane and simple. It must have been my mexican gardner. I'm sending him back to Mexico.

And the toxicology report that came back saying cocaine was in my blood? More research for the movie. If blowjobs don't count as sex, then putting cocaine inside your nose for a movie isn't really "doing cocaine."

Later sluts,

Love & Laxatives

LL

9 Comments:

At 12:26 PM, Anonymous said...

I am, but that doesn't make you a bad person. We just get bored easy.

 
At 5:56 AM, True Fan: DON said...

Hey Lindsay, I really like your acting and your writing. I have seen almost every film of yours and have a lot of your wallpapers. I like you a lot.

 
At 6:14 AM, Anonymous said...

BULLLLLLSHIIIIIIIITDOTCOM!!!!!!

 
At 5:06 PM, Anonymous said...

OMG !!!! WHAT BULLSHIT, YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING LIAR....I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE FOOLING BUT YOU LOVED SNORTING COKE OFF MY DICK.....

 
At 8:15 AM, Anonymous said...

Hey Fake Lindsay, this is the best site I've ever seen. God bless you fake famous people. You give all us little people something to strive for.

 
At 5:08 PM, Anonymous said...

I have never seen a more pathetic web site in my life. Whoever takes the time to make this and keep it updated has some SERIOUS issues. My God, are you THAT obsessed with Lindsay and with starving yourself to death? Seek help immediately, if not sooner.

 
At 11:50 PM, speechless said...

It seems that you're really bored these days,every time I get on this page DRUG is the most popular topic.I just want you to make sure that doing coke and other things you won't feel regretful as time goes by.

 
At 8:06 AM, Anonymous said...

Hi! I don't think you did coke, and if this isn't your website, then the guy/girl should shut it down. It gives LL a bad name. But if this is LL, you got to stop trying to starve yourself. I read your site and was disgusted. I can't believe you sometimes. Your really skinny, and drugs are the worst things in the world.

 
At 8:48 AM, Sweetmamagirl said...

Oh, please! Whoever this is is awesome!!! Maybe it really is L.L. thinking noone would believe this. Either way this place is great!! And if I was 21, again..I'd be doing the saaaame crap! Actually I kinda did when I was younger..'cept weed was my thing so I was mellowed out..coke is too much for me, that's the rich ppl's drug!!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home