LINDSAY LOHAN'S EMACIATION PROCLAMATION

Hi! I'm Lindsay Lohan: singer, actress and a PROUD anorexic! Anywho, welcome to my website! Here is where you'll come to get the skinny on my personal life and how YOU TOO can eventually look like Skeletor. Be sure read and take the "Emaciation Proclamation" oath and you'll soon be on your way to looking beautifully anorexic. Update: I'm in Utah, totally dreaming of booze.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Re: Lily Allen and Fat People Not Making It In Hollywood







OMG -- MYSPACE drama is soooooooo 2006 -- and acting all emo & sh*it is soooooo 2005. If you've been following Lily "Chubby" Allen's MySpace blog lately, you would have seen this suicidal posting last week:
"fat, ugly and shitter than winehouse

that is all i am, im on my own in america again. I used to pride myself on being strong minded and not being some stupid girl obsessed with the way I look. I felt like it didnt matter if I was a bit chubby cause, im not a model, I'm a singer. Im afraid I am not strong and have fallen victim to the evil machine. I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle, I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery, and laser lipo suction."

Can you believe this girl? I know I've sounded depressed at times, but damn...she just sounds soooo sad. It almost makes me want to cry and wonder.....do I sound like this? Is this how I sound when I complain about my weight....damn.

Tho it looks like now Lily might be coming out of her depression. Today she wrote:

"Sorry
Current mood: Better

Hi guys , I'm sorry if I worried anyone with the blog I wrote yesterday . I was feeling pretty sorry for myself , I've been reading all your comments and they have made me realise there is more to life than being thin ! So thank you . I think I was just having a hard time last week . After reading cheryl tweedys comments branding me a "chick with a dick". I was feeling pretty low and aswell as that, some of you might know I launched my clothing line for new look last tuesday, and seeing my picture in so many newspapers next to kate moss' , made me feel grotesque momentarily. I know its a silly way to feel and I am incredibly proud of myself and my achievements over the past year, there are so many good things about my life . I really am incredibly lucky . I guess it shows how much of an effect the media can have on us young ladies. As for the amy winehouse bit , someone sent me a link to a picture blog where there were some paparazzi shots of my brother and I , and there were hundreds of comments from mean sad people , saying I was a fat ugly bitch and how much better amy is than I . Usually I ignore these things , but in my heightened emotional state I let them get the better of me . My mum has come out here to keep me company and I feel much better now , I sha'nt be getting any surgery , instead I will be eating lots of bread and pasta and thinking about what to write about for the next album . I really am touched and was quite surprised at the reaction the blog received and it definitely has restored my faith in humanity .

I know I've said bad things about people in the past , though the majority of them have been blown wayyyy out of proportion , but this i mean Cheryl if you're reading this , I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune . I must say taking your clothes off , doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying , your mother must be so proud, stupid bitch .

I think I'm beginning to like Lily. She may sound sad and dressed, but anybody who calls another girl a "stupid bitch" is awesome in my eyes. I only wish I was that forward at times...then maybe people would think i have more street cred and like me more. I dunno.

As far as Lily thinking she's fat, well...she is. I can see why she's so depressed. You cannot be in this business and be ugly. You cannot be fat. Men can be fat, woman can't. It's just the way it is. Name an ugly Pop Star or Actress in Hollywood today. You can't. At least not one that's any good. And that Ugly Betty loser doesn't count -- that's a lame fat puerto rican actress that's made to look ugly.

I'm just saying that if you're a girl and you want to make it in this biz, you might want to take a look in the mirror and ask yourselves these questions:

  • Am I fat?

  • Do people think I'm ugly
If you answered "yes" to any of those questions then you're not going to make it in this town.

4 Comments:

At 6:59 PM, Anonymous said...

GIRLFRIEND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE TURNING INTO A FAT ASS AGAIN. YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

LARD-ASS

 
At 1:30 PM, Maurice Valmont said...

OMG! I can't believe you were named Hottest Woman! With all those rolls! God... Maybe Lily Allen has restored her faith in humanity, but you're losing mine everytime you take a bite.

 
At 9:52 AM, Anonymous said...

Who the hell is Lily Allen?

 
At 12:36 PM, Anonymous said...

i can name an ugly pop star and actress thats in hollywood today. Lindsay Lohan. Your not any good either so you fit into both categories nicely. Oh and Lilly Allen is not fat.

 

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