LINDSAY LOHAN'S EMACIATION PROCLAMATION

Hi! I'm Lindsay Lohan: singer, actress and a PROUD anorexic! Anywho, welcome to my website! Here is where you'll come to get the skinny on my personal life and how YOU TOO can eventually look like Skeletor. Be sure read and take the "Emaciation Proclamation" oath and you'll soon be on your way to looking beautifully anorexic. Update: I'm in Utah, totally dreaming of booze.

Friday, May 11, 2007

My New Movie Totally Sucks Balls

Today my movie comes out in theaters all across the nation -- GEORGIA RULE with Jane Fonda and some other people whose name's I'm forgetting right now (was out in nyc getting my drink on after Conan last night!!!).



I can honestly say that I'm not very proud of this movie, especially a scene where I get down on my knees and give a blowjob to this guy. As you already know, I was a mess during the production of the movie. I'd be out all night and show up late to the set, sometimes not at all. I got that letter from the CEO of Morgan Creek threatening to fire me.



Damn this is depressing. The movie sucks balls. It's seriously the worst thing that's ever been made in my career like ever. It makes Herbie Fully Loaded look like the freaking Godfather. I think Georgia Rule is going to destroy cinema. I wouldn't be surprised if the people who go to see this movie never go to the movies again. Look, according to Rottentomatoes.com my movie has a 22% Freshness Rating!!?!?!







This is so gay. Maybe this is what it's going to take to get my down to a size -7 again.



I've never wanted to cut myself more than I do now.



But good ol' Linds.....Disney's up and comer....the Maven of the Marmount....Hollywood's freshest "IT" girl is going to put on a happy face......she's going to pretend everything is just perfect for this opening....



Don't worry, Mother, I won't embarrass us this weekend...I won't embarrass you. I would never put your career in jeopardy, Mother...you're career is just as important as mine, isn 't it? You need it now. You need those fancy dinners...You love those fancy dinners. You've already met Al Gore; wouldn't want to put your meeting with Obama in jeopardy.



So I'll put on a shiny smiling face this weekend and pretend I'm happy.  When the cameras are on I'll say my movie is awesome. I'll say working with Jane was Grand. I'll say and do everything my publicist tells me because I'm a team player.



Dearest readers....bloggers of the world....I'm glad you're hear so that we can talk. Nobody else outside our little circle seems to understand. Me or anything....



****Looking for a bottle of jack and some razorss****

5 Comments:

At 6:31 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

LMAO Your not even old enough to drink! I hope you dont get in a car wreck Lindsay Lohan.

 
At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha emos make me laugh. They want is attention.

 
At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Levi said...

haha emos are fucking pathetic. SO are alcoholics. Oh wait you fall into both categories.

 
At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lindsay Lohan,
Come to New York,Onondaga County to really get the help with a rehab and program.If you do not stop this drink and drug you are going to die or go to prison for a long time.

 
At 10:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

途中償還型
このこという
康介
クセ毛などでお悩みの方
健康を考えるリンク集
貸金業法
軽度のわきが臭
広告内容
プライバシーを考える
総資本回転率
派遣社員のお勧めサイト
バンパー
汗腺器官
自動車運転者
廃棄物処理施設技術管理者
フリーターのお気に入り
家具
性病・性感染症
クリーム
金融行動

seego

 

Post a Comment

<< Home