My New Movie Totally Sucks Balls

Today my movie comes out in theaters all across the nation -- GEORGIA RULE with Jane Fonda and some other people whose name's I'm forgetting right now (was out in nyc getting my drink on after Conan last night!!!).



I can honestly say that I'm not very proud of this movie, especially a scene where I get down on my knees and give a blowjob to this guy. As you already know, I was a mess during the production of the movie. I'd be out all night and show up late to the set, sometimes not at all. I got that letter from the CEO of Morgan Creek threatening to fire me.



Damn this is depressing. The movie sucks balls. It's seriously the worst thing that's ever been made in my career like ever. It makes Herbie Fully Loaded look like the freaking Godfather. I think Georgia Rule is going to destroy cinema. I wouldn't be surprised if the people who go to see this movie never go to the movies again. Look, according to Rottentomatoes.com my movie has a 22% Freshness Rating!!?!?!







This is so gay. Maybe this is what it's going to take to get my down to a size -7 again.



I've never wanted to cut myself more than I do now.



But good ol' Linds.....Disney's up and comer....the Maven of the Marmount....Hollywood's freshest "IT" girl is going to put on a happy face......she's going to pretend everything is just perfect for this opening....



Don't worry, Mother, I won't embarrass us this weekend...I won't embarrass you. I would never put your career in jeopardy, Mother...you're career is just as important as mine, isn 't it? You need it now. You need those fancy dinners...You love those fancy dinners. You've already met Al Gore; wouldn't want to put your meeting with Obama in jeopardy.



So I'll put on a shiny smiling face this weekend and pretend I'm happy.  When the cameras are on I'll say my movie is awesome. I'll say working with Jane was Grand. I'll say and do everything my publicist tells me because I'm a team player.



Dearest readers....bloggers of the world....I'm glad you're hear so that we can talk. Nobody else outside our little circle seems to understand. Me or anything....



****Looking for a bottle of jack and some razorss****