MY DAD IS GOING TO GET BUTT-RAPED!!!

Good news, everyone! Daddy is going to jail! As you all know, Daddy and I haven't always gotten along. Even though we share some interests -- like partying, cocaine snorting, and alcoholism -- he and I couldn't be so different. For one, he loves to eat and I hate food. I loathe food. I barf my food.

Also, I don't have my dad's temper. I prefer to starve myself if I get angry or sad or depressed. But that's not a bad thing I guess. I mean, look how hot I am!!!!

Love & Laxatives,

Lindsay

ANOREXIC BLOG WARRIOR

Yeah!!! I love me my new PowerBo0k! Nice and slender, just like my figure!!!! How the hell do I shut this thing down?

OMG!!@! I'M SUCH A FATTY

ick. Disgusting. I am SUCH a pig. Look at my gut in this photo. Gack myself with a spoon. Got to go barf right now. Byeeee!

BREAKFAST IS FOR FATTIES

I saw this lady at the Coffee Bean having food with her coffee. What an idiot. Doesn't she know that food will make her ass fat. Stupids.

My new Herbie movie is coming out soon! See it!

POSH SPICE IS MY NEW ROLE MODEL

Hi everyone! Hope you all took your laxatives today! I must have sh*t at least for buckets of the Taco Bell I had for breakfast. Nothing like Taco Bell for breakfast!!!

I ran across this photo of Posh Spice this morning. She has to be one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. People said she used to be anorexic -- like it's a frickin crime! Bitch please!

WHAT DID I EAT TODAY

I fell off the wagon today. I feel like such a fatasses. Usually, I have just a rice cake for breakfast, but today I had -- jus thad too! -- spreak jelly on it. I don't know why. I just did. And now I'm paying the price for it. I can feel the fat covering my rips already.

Morning:

Rice Cake w/ marmalade jelly.
Tea
Laxatives -- i love to s**t.

Lunch:

Asian Lettuce Wrap -- just the wrap part. Nothing in it except a little Dexedrine that I sprinkle on when the waiter's not looking. I don't have ADD, I just like the way it makes me not be a fatass.

Snack:

Marlboro Reds -- Half a pack.

THIS IS WHAT BEAUTIFUL LOOKS LIKE

OMG! Have you seen these recent photos of supermodel Eva Herzigova! She's looking totally good. I wonder what her diet is?


A few months ago Eva was pretty fat.



But now she's simply amazing. So hot. But I can see a little flab on her arms. Get to work Eva!


Simply stunning. I wish I looked this good for my SNL appearance.


Sick. I hate boobs, and so does Eva, obviously. Good thing I got my breast implants removed.

Which remeinds me!!! I'm going to start telling you what I've eaten everyday! By posting my diet I'm hoping other fatties will learn how to be mean and lean, just like me! Check back later to see what I ate today!

THE EMACIATION PROCLAMATION

Please read and recite (and print and post it in the office place or whever there's food!) my Emaciation Proclamation. It's the only way you're going to look as skinny as me.

Click here to enlarge, fatty.

PDF version is right here!



This young model followed the Emaciation Proclamation and look how beautiful she looks! The results are guaranteed!