AN ODE TO FATTY
This is something I wrote the other night at 2:45 AM:
I stay awake at night and look at my fat stomach,
I cry, I scream, and I run to the fridge to get some icecream.
I cannot stop,
I cannot bleed,
I have no feelings left inside of me.
Hounded by the paparrazzzizi, I run and run and run,
But still I'm a little fatty.
No fun, no fun.
So I stay awake at night to write to you:
my muse, my stomach,
So I don't have to drag the razor blades across my legs,
But I like that feeling, the blood, the pain,
It makes me feel real:
like an aborted uterus I find on the street while grabbing the newspaper.
I don't know why I feel the need to starve myself or puke my brains out
Something to do with my dad? Something to do with fame?
Surely the cocowhite nose candy can't be to blame.
When the doves flew out of Santa Barbara the other day,
I felt the world was begun anew and gay,
But no.
The world's still the same.
Another day, another gag,
another run to the toilet,
I'll say I'm on the rag.
60 Comments:
this is very funny...
Lindsay,
I agree, you are fat. Nicole looks so much skinnier than you. Even Katie Holmes looks skinnier than you, which is why she scored Tom Cruise and you didn't even get the Mission Impossible 3 job you told us you were gonna do. Don't you know that dark hair is more slimming, so change that to black too. Coke is good to lose weight, but heroine will keep it off, try that! I do love you, love your music ("live like its the last moon rising") so I'm only saying this for your own good! Besides, the camera adds ten pounds so you need to lose at least ten more. And your boobs are close to being non-existant so I'm proud of you for taking all the criticism of your bust size and doing something about it. If only we all had the will power that you have. You are an inspiration to girls and gay men all over the world. Love ya!
hahahahhahahah i think that anonymous comment is funnier than this actually post. Good shit
http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/gossip/lindsay-lohan/index.php
more pics!!!
you shuld write a book anyway, lindsay don't listen to any of these idots,your boobs won't be non-existant when the rest of you is,besides your not eve that fat-just big boned, I recommend oxycotton you puke so much you lose like 20 pounds.
xox your hardcore anarexic friend.
yall r soooooo rude like your imature!! grow up. people suffer from this everyday and thats why yall are some computer nerds
OMFG the girl aint even fat she had bigg boobs and everything else fit JUST RIGHT these people here we call them ''HATERS'' they have nothing better to do
See, Lindsay, they just gave Kerri Russel the part you wanted in Mission Impossible 3. She's Felicity, not even a movie star. You got passed over not by a has been, but by a nobody. Maybe it's because she chopped her hair off years ago, which I think you should do too because your hair is terrible. Also, it'll make it easier when you vomit so you won't have to have Nicole hold your hair back for you because she's getting married and gonna leave you like she left Paris. Please cute your hair, it is the only way!
lose some weight you cows
chocolates are good. eat it!
oh and btw, lindsay rocks.
but this bloody blog is just full of bull. so whoever believes LL is typing all these crap, go on believe it. all of you dumbass.
haha. maybe that bitch HILARY DUFF posted all the really bad comments.
Wow... such insensitivity. Yayy for people like you whose arrogance elevates them upon a stage of delusion where they feel confident enough to judge others. :-)
There ARE people who struggle with eating disorders. In case you failed to do any actual research on the disorders (which is painfully obvious in your immature writings), it is an addiction. A serious, detrimental problem not indicative of vanity.
FYI -- eating disorders only have to do with food & weight on a superficial level. It's not about that at all in the heart of it. But you ignorantly buy into the veneer of the disorder, the distraction, rather than actually take a second to learn about what you're grossly attempting to parody.
If Lindsay Lohan were truly anorexic, she would not have breasts or a butt to speak of. & yet, she does. If she were anorexic, her hair would be falling out, she'd look grey & hairy, & she'd be extremely weak. & yet, she isn't.
Btw, the noun is anorectic, not anorexic.
This site & some of these comments disgust. I cannot believe the heartlessness you've demonstrated.
I hope someday you'll be able to see how immature & pathetic your antics are.
Until then... you have my sympathy.
Oh. & I forgive you. ;-)
^^^ shut up. Maybe Lindsay is gonna suffer those anorexic syndromes or even already suffering them. Can't you see how her body has changed?? She has lost her big boobs. no more curves. she has become an ugly skinny blonde.
BTW, the noun for anorexic is anorexia, you stupid bitch!
Are there actually people reading this damn thing that think that this is a real blog from lindsay? Please Guys.. its just a funny way to say that the stars are always brighter when you can make fun of them. Isent that what they are there for anyway? Our entertainment and enjoyment? I mean.. None of us Know Lindsay personally and cant say what she does behind closed doors (( except car doors)) so just laugh along and be secure in the fact that you will never be anybody special that others can make fun of. its ok... You can puke too!
Lord Ally McBeal is vomitting her message all across the world! Aneroxia is in! Those people that say you become emaciated and fat and whatever because you vomit are total liars and my girl Lindsay is proof to that! Those who get upset at these posts probably just got off their knees in the bathroom! Lessons learned from Lord Ally McBeal (who used a unisex bathroom cuz guys dig puke too)!
what happened to your boobs
This is very sad and stupid... why would u even think Lindsey would post her personal life up on a computer, do u really think she has time to do all that?! anorexia is a very scary and "NOT COOL!" thing to do and half the computer nerds/people who think they know lindey are total possers and are proabally FAT!!!
OMG LINDSAY U R THE FATTEST PERSON IN HOLLYWOOD.
That was hilarous! next time lindsay goes to a awards show or performs her music on stage, she should take some laxatives by mistake six hours beforehand and then when she gets on stage, they'll start to work and the stage will smell like poop and lindsay will run away crying with a trail of poop behind her.
does your life seem a little less worthless when you harass and make fun of people who stuggle with a disease?
just wondering
U (who is writing this blog) have waaaaay too much time on ur hands!!! And it's kinda disturbing that u went to all the trouble to find the thin commandments etc just to tease someone else... whatever, do what u want I suppose... I think it's really sad though... maybe like try and follow ur own advice too huh?! U might look better, hehe!
Personally, I feel awesome about myself because I don't need to vomit because the anti-depressants I'm on (wellbutrine) helps me to lose weight. Lindsay feels powerful over her vomitting and more power to her! She's in control, and so am I. Only quitters go to rehab! You keep on keepin' on Lindsay and don't listen to those who call this a disease because it is a way of life, and a darn good one at that!
lolllll
some people need to learn how to take a joke. Thank you for entertaining me everyone who put up a comment. ( but ppl dont seriously think its lindsey writing, do they?)
I do, I do believe it is Lindsay, because she's young, and hip, and she's gonna be a supermodel!
i dont think it is lindsey and i dont think people on writing this do either...i also think that the people saying they are anorexic on this site really arnt, and those who are i feel really bad for you youll get over it sooner or later if u dont you well die.
Lindsay, get over yourself...okay. there are people in a much worse situation than you, so just chill. okay you are very pretty. Why are you doing this to yourself? look at you, you're a fucking total mess..you messed up your life and you're gonna die if you don't get help. this is a serious disorder, anorexia nervosa, that you just can't ignore.
well take care and i'm hoping you'll take my advice
they went to so much trouble to find the "Thin Commandments" ?
um, i think they made them up....
some people find this offensive, but come on
everybody takes the p!ss out of something
and its not like they're stalking her or something, they're just making fun of her
sheesh, people
Good stuff. Good stuff. Makes me laugh.
Nice way to embarrass yourself on Leno, Lindsay! Wow, do you really think you're cool enough to make fun of Tom Cruise? I think not, stanky. Maybe when you've been in movies for 20 years like he has and has the respect he has, then you'll have the right to make jokes about him but as long as you are doing stupid Disney remakes and spraying yourself with tan in a can or I-CANT-BELIEVE-ITS-NOT-BUTTER (don't know which one you are using), then maybe you should shoosh. Lindsay is so ugly and stupid and lindsay, your hair is the color of dog piss. You like shit!!!!
old school hollywood baseball!
It is so stupid to use one's influence and popularity to encourage teenagers to become ill! I hope the readers won't be fool enough to follow advice.
Anorexia and boulimia are eating disorders, and people suffering from it do not feel good at all (I have been so myself) and can sometimes die from it.
Obesity and anorexia are 2 diseases form modern societies, where prevention is urgently needed.
You are a sick person. There are people out there who are dying from anorexia the disease. And you are sitting here acting like anorexia is a joke, well its not. If only you could see what you are doing, you are encouraging people to kill themselves. You should be ashamed.
wow every last one of you needs help. I'm sure you're all just as fake as this blog is.
word
fuck you linsey. you boney ass bitch.
Pshhh.. all you people need to realize that Lindsay looks absolutely AMAZING with her new protuding bones and skinny arms. To be able to count your ribs and have defined skeleton is beauty at its greatest. I applaud you Lindsay for you hard work and commitment to disolve your curves and boobs.. and teeth! You are an inspiration to all fatty chicks out there with oversized boobs. LOOK BONEY, DEATHLY, SICKLY.. AND SKINNNNYYY LIKE LINDSAY RIGHT NOW! START SNORTING TODAY AND PUKING TOMORROW.. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!
hahaha i love this shit!
http://www.FeedLindsay.com
Lindsay lohan is a friggin dumbass. there are people who are starving in this world who look like her because they can't eat. she could eat gourmet every night if she wanted and still be able to blow the rest of her cash up her nose. skinny rich bitch don't wanna eat? fuck her. she can starve to death trying to control her body. but she should buy me a car first.
Ok ppl...I've read some really funny comments. This entire site is the funniest thing out there. If the true creator is Lindsay then something is seriously wrong with her. If it is someone mocking her, then you don't have a life and I feel sorry for you. There's a limit between making fun of someone without seeming damn idiotic yourself. Anorexia and bulimia aren't jokes!!!! Ppl die everyday from them. The amount of food in the United States is ridiculous for ppl to choose to starve themselves. Some ppl starve without a choice. I say enjoy your body and enjoy life. If you are obsessed with your body and starve and binge you're not living life. You're slowly dying.
I have not eaten in like, 2 weeks. And I feel more alive--and skinnier--than ever!!
who actually believes this is really lindsay lohan? lame
hahahahahaha!
Wow! That was funny!
Anorexia is not a joke. It is a psychological disorder that begins easily but is not easily recognized by the person who has the disorder nor is it easily treated. Furthermore, there have been studies finding that certain genes that promote starvation were more likely to be found in anorexics, and these genes could be traced to the times of cavemen as a genetic way to save food when it was scarce. It is immature and ignorant to find so much humor in an experience that is painful to one out of ten people - in fact, your friends could be anorexic and you would not know it. I agree the folks in Hollywood should try not to promote eating disorders, but sometimes they cannot help it. Recognize that some actors cave in to the very pressures that we would like them to avoid encouraging.
this site is horrible. sure im not a huge fan of lindsay or anything but this is ridiculous. people don't even know her and they go off in stupid tangents like these. why do you think people have problems with losing so much weight. because people like you make fun of them, they start to believe you, thinking they are "fat" when they aren't even close to it, and then they starve themselves and die. its horrible.
this is one of your biggest fans telling you to eat some pork or some junk food to gain some wiewght i just don't want anything to happen to you
LMFAO!!THIS BLOG IS HILARIOUS..GOOD WORK!!
Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay:
You are getting SOOOOO fat! You have to stop! You gotta' vomit more, and only eat 1 cracker everyday (good fiber, keep you more full so you don't get tempted to eat anything). Come on Lindsay, you can do it! Get skinny! You're already like 50 lbs. overweight! I'll help you go through it.
to the person who was talking about "way to embarrass yourself on leno, lindsay,": okay.you need a life.u only talk about tom cruise bcuz ur trying to follow his scientology shit.ur fucked up.really fucked up.the dude who fucking wrote the book scientology got banned from EVERY SINGLE COUNTRY ON THE PLANET FOR 20 YEARS!!!!!he had to live on a boat with his family.the only reason ANYONE would EVER even consider following scientology is bcuz theyre insecure, suicidal, and on their knees right now hovering their head over the toilet.oh well.
to everybody else: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS!i dont care whether lindsay is on crack or not...unless she gives me a discount...or if shes anorexic or not!thats her fucking business.so yea.
TOM CRUISE CAN KISS MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lindsay lohan is a friggin dumbass. there are people who are starving in this world who look like her because they can't eat. she could eat gourmet every night if she wanted and still be able to blow the rest of her cash up her nose. skinny rich bitch don't wanna eat? fuck her. she can starve to death trying to control her body. but she should buy me a car first.
~~~Thats fuckin hilarious hehe
This blog is mildly yet distastefully humourous. And the noun for anorexia can be either anorexic or anorectic. Your use of a relatively highly functional vocabulary is obviously a vain attempt to provoke the imae of you being extremely intelligent and therefore render your opinion more coreect than others. However, no-one cares, and you are probably merely using a computer thesauraus, or you spent 20 minutes deciphering those lovely words.
Jesus... I don't think I have much to say, this blog says all there is to say about Lindsay Lohan. But I did almost crap myself laughing. I think that might be what I was trying to say. And that all the people who don't think she's sickeningly thin are... to say the least, stupid. Thankfully, I don't really care about her, though my love for crap movies is undebatable, and she did look better with boobs, since that's all she's lost anyway, the only REAL use for good ol' Lindsay is amusement... yes, how I love to hate and taunt.
Look... honestly Lindsay your very HOT very.. but what the fuck made you want to go skinny ? you already had a hot body, a body that most women and girls dream about but now you look like your sick... when you were "thicker" you were so much more attractive. thass why i think most girls looked up to you, even girls your age. but now you look like one of those fake models and actresses.... eat a lot more. its good for you!
this has got really bad now i've had to start lyin 2 my friends sayin that i'm eating so they wont shout at me
this blog is not funny.........
grow up!!! why do u want to look like some teenage boy?? very NOT hot! U R SICK!
ur fuking crazy! ur teaching 6-14 yr olds to be anorixic.
my gawd, this isnt even the real lindsay you dumbasses. you cant be serious and actully believe it.
are you that fucking mental? Shes not gonna put or tell anybody about her disorder if she even has one. why? because the
Paparazzi & the press, and all these rumors. Linsay is smarter than to put a dumb blog about anorexia. and to say this isnt as serious as other problems. Their all problems you, you should fix whatever you can. my gawd grow up and learn.
the other comments are totally gay. live&fucking learn.
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