Friday, May 18, 2007
Press Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
CONTACT:
John Mayer
johnmayerblues@gmail.com
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/johnmayer/blogger.html
LEGENDARY MUSICIAN JOHN MAYER ENDS OKAY RELATIONSHIP WITH WELL- ENDOWED POP SINGER JESSICA SIMPSON
Wishes To Remain “Friends,” Open To Future Sexual Encounters.
New York, NY, May 18th, 2007 - Blues singer and global warming activist John Mayer has decided to put an end to his once sexually exciting, but ultimately boring and frustrating relationship with pop tart Jessica Simpson.
The newly single Mayer, a multiple Grammy Award winner with a mind-blowing summer tour beginning on June 1st, decided enough was enough. “We tried to work things out, but ultimately our priorities in life are very different,” says Mayer. “I want to bring truth to the world with music and stop the ice caps from melting, whereas Jess is more interested with the exposure and maintenance of her breasts.”
“However, I would still be open to the possibility of future one night stands and sexual encounters,” adds Mayer. “In a few months from now, that could work out.”
John wishes Jessica well, and hopes she'll stop crying soon. Mayer will be seeing other people: highly desirable, sexually attractive women who are not looking for a relationship right now (and as usual, lucky concert-goers). There will always be a place in John’s heart for Jessica, her family, and Jessica’s paparazzi followers, which gave him free publicity for his upcoming tour.
“Ladies, look out,” says Mayer, seductively. “Cause blues artists / environmental crusaders do it better.”
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JOHN MAYER is a handsome, talented, highly successful artist, activist, and thinker. Though legendary for his blues music, John is also gifted at stand-up comedy, blogging and birdhouse creation. He is most comfortable dating women ages 19-28.
CONTACT:
John Mayer
johnmayerblues@gmail.com
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/johnmayer/blogger.html
LEGENDARY MUSICIAN JOHN MAYER ENDS OKAY RELATIONSHIP WITH WELL- ENDOWED POP SINGER JESSICA SIMPSON
Wishes To Remain “Friends,” Open To Future Sexual Encounters.
New York, NY, May 18th, 2007 - Blues singer and global warming activist John Mayer has decided to put an end to his once sexually exciting, but ultimately boring and frustrating relationship with pop tart Jessica Simpson.The newly single Mayer, a multiple Grammy Award winner with a mind-blowing summer tour beginning on June 1st, decided enough was enough. “We tried to work things out, but ultimately our priorities in life are very different,” says Mayer. “I want to bring truth to the world with music and stop the ice caps from melting, whereas Jess is more interested with the exposure and maintenance of her breasts.”
“However, I would still be open to the possibility of future one night stands and sexual encounters,” adds Mayer. “In a few months from now, that could work out.”
John wishes Jessica well, and hopes she'll stop crying soon. Mayer will be seeing other people: highly desirable, sexually attractive women who are not looking for a relationship right now (and as usual, lucky concert-goers). There will always be a place in John’s heart for Jessica, her family, and Jessica’s paparazzi followers, which gave him free publicity for his upcoming tour.
“Ladies, look out,” says Mayer, seductively. “Cause blues artists / environmental crusaders do it better.”
###
JOHN MAYER is a handsome, talented, highly successful artist, activist, and thinker. Though legendary for his blues music, John is also gifted at stand-up comedy, blogging and birdhouse creation. He is most comfortable dating women ages 19-28.
