THE OFFICIAL BLOG OF FETUS SPEARS

A BELOW-THE-BELLY LOOK AT LIFE INSIDE MY MOTHER, BRITNEY SPEARS: THE WORLD'S MOST WHITE TRASH POP STAR MOMMY!!!@!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

MOMMY GOING TO KILL HERSELF

OMFG! MOMMY IS SO DREPRESSED FOR SOME REASON...SHE'S BEEN WALKING AROUND LIKE A ZOMBIE WOMEN WHILE DADDY HANGS OUT BY POOL DRINKING MARGARATAS WITH SOME UGLY PERSON NAMED SHAR SHAR JACKSON FIVE!!@!1

MOMMY SAYS SHE IS SAD BUT THAT HER TEARS ARE REALLY FOR HAPPNINESS BUT I DON'T BELIEVE HER. SHE SAYS THAT SHE IS GOING TO TAKE SOME H APPY PILLS AND I SAY THAT'S BULLSH*T. I DON'T BELIEVE IN PILL. THE OTHER DAY I WAS WATCBHING AND INTERVIEW WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAYS THAT PEOPLE WHO TAKE HAPPY PILLS ARE GAY. I DON'T WANT TO BE GAY.....

129 Comments:

At 3:33 PM, Anonymous said...

hey fetus, please do another podcast. i am desperate for one!

 
At 4:41 PM, Anonymous said...

funny as hell

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous said...

lmao

 
At 10:25 PM, Anonymous said...

Preston,

your mom's a whore and white-trash...but we love you!

 
At 11:52 PM, Prince_Rubes said...

Mummy's and even Daddy's with Testosterone but usually the "Mummy gets Hormonal "Preston" after having a baby.

You just enjoy being a baby yourself instead of getting older before your time. Cool Blog by the way Love your way with words

Keep on Poopin. Nappies Rule

 
At 8:34 AM, Anonymous said...

look at the cute widdle baby!!!!

 
At 3:02 PM, squeezychortle said...

Dear Fetus,

If your mommy takes happy pills you won't be any gayer than you already are--so don't worry about it. Gayness is in the genes. Unfortunately, your father is fricken GHEY. He's a DANCER. He wears MAKEUP. He's probably going to perform in the ICE CAPADES. You really can't get much gayer than sequins and eyeliner and those stupid fricken hats. Man o man your dad is gay.

But who cares? Gay is as gay does and it doesn't matter. ANd anyways you won't necessarily be gay, though, because your mom's a whore. You could be the bastard child of Brett Favre, who isn't gay.

 
At 4:07 PM, Anonymous said...

Hey fetus, your grammar is getting worse and werse, is mommy's smoking and boozing during pregnancy starting to pay off?

 
At 7:30 PM, SNUFF said...

where did all the cocaine go?

 
At 8:44 PM, Paris Hilton said...

fetus.. how big is ur manhood?? we should hook up sometime and make a movie!!

 
At 11:27 PM, Anonymous said...

Hey fetus, preston, london or charlie:

Don't worry bout gayness... u'll have some other problems to worry about, like, just givving an xample on the top of my head, like CANCER, yeahhh, that's a kick in the ass, cause that's whats happening to yah if ur queer daddy keeps on smoking around u and ur 500lbs mommy... yeah... that's righ... n besides, u'll probably have a brain desease, let's not forget ur mommy tends to mess up words, and never EVER sings live, and the "Motherchucker" incident? don't make me get into that, allright? So anyways, hopefully u r the bastard son of some irish bartender with pants that shows his asscrack... if ur lucky enough... and the spears-federline's genes did not get into ur sistem... once again, who knows!

 
At 4:55 PM, Anonymous said...

sorry your moms a ho
and sorry you have a small penis
like your whitetrash papa.

 
At 12:19 PM, Anonymous said...

R U gonna keep blooggin or is that it?

Cause if that's ig, Im gonna go to Fetus Garner's blog She's giving away gfree blowjobs

 
At 6:00 PM, i said...

you are soo going to be gay.

 
At 10:50 PM, the truth (is a bad speller) said...

ways you might die:

sufficate on mummy spears and daddy federlines smoke(and die)

take mommy federlines and spears pills thinking they are candy, or just because your teething(and then you pass out and die)

hit your head on one of the pointy corners in your baby room, which would lead to extream blood loss(and death).

malnutrition, mommy spears and daddy federline ate all the food in the house(and you die)

 
At 5:42 PM, Lindsay Lohan said...

What the f*ck beeyotch!?!? How's Your skankface mom doing? You'll have to tell her to get her stash from Kate this week cause I'm Under survalence by "by not taking care of myself".

Pssshhh yeah *sniff sniff

 
At 9:36 PM, Anonymous said...

Die devil baby die!

 
At 3:08 PM, Anonymous said...

dieeeeeeeeeeeee devil baby. u suck ur mom is a awsomeeeeeeeee person a**wipe

 
At 11:15 PM, Anonymous said...

Well it won't be long now before ur loser daddy finds another woman to impregant....

 
At 1:47 PM, Anonymous said...

lmao, is this a JOKE ^o) ?

 
At 2:28 AM, ライブチャット said...

ライブチャット、無料ライブチャットが萌えて凄いライブチャット倶楽部で炎のライブチャット、そして素人で萌え。ライブチャット最前線だからライブチャット糾弾風呂具。萌え萌えライブチャットでぷるるんライブチャット。God bless.

 
At 3:50 PM, Misty said...

Are you going to write anymore? How about a picture?

 
At 11:19 PM, Wonderful1 said...

ur not a fetus anymore! ur a baby! and damn brittany spears is white trash

 
At 2:23 PM, alister crowley said...

i'm sorry about your mom and dad, but hey at least your rich. also when you rebel, we'll know why.

 
At 7:13 PM, Anonymous said...

It sucks to be you man, But it seems to me your ripping off your little persona from one Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Not cool.

 
At 7:39 PM, K. Fed said...

Preston,
hey, u ever think of tellin anybody to update that opening page?? i didn't know ur momma was still pregnant... and stop talking shit 2 all these ppl about ur momma... u're startin 2 make us look bad... stay tight nigguh..

Love, Daddy

 
At 2:21 AM, free psp said...

LOL, yup that's a big LOL! Your posts are hilarious! Keep it up! :)

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous said...

dont worry about being gay ur dad is and i heared that u wont be if u listen to other people so piss on ur dad 4 me k and shit on ur mom 2 4 me

 
At 5:21 PM, Anonymous said...

Why aren't you posting bitch?

 
At 9:55 AM, Anonymous said...

u r are gay to have briteny 4 a mom

 
At 3:10 PM, Anonymous said...

anyone want to hook up, my name is matt crosby, im in leeds,england and my number is 07821222651. i'm a little slut who loves anythin with practically anyone. thanks fetus spears. i'd probly shag you too

 
At 7:58 PM, Anonymous said...

Its done...it's over Fetus Spears is born and probably sounds like the guy who was doing the voice over here. It's time to move on with our lives and have a new "Fetus" Hero that we can all look up to...

 
At 3:20 PM, mICHELLE said...

Are you so stupid that you don't know how to update or create another podcast!!!!!

TRY TO BE A TEENY BIT MORE SMARTER FETUS!

 
At 12:54 PM, Anonymous said...

she has every reason to

 
At 1:00 PM, Anonymous said...

lmfao omg

 
At 3:26 AM, Anonymous said...

hello

 
At 5:07 PM, Anonymous said...

dude you're coming into this world and into a cracked out family.

 
At 12:53 PM, Anonymous said...

Podcast?

 
At 12:54 PM, Anonymous said...

Podcast?

 
At 3:26 PM, Anonymous said...

yo u are really kol but ur mom and dad are white trash idiots

 
At 10:21 AM, Taylor said...

Wuts Up Little Spears. You're the shit!!!! Your parents on the other hand....... are not

 
At 4:59 AM, Anonymous said...

ID still Give her One!!!

 
At 12:35 PM, Anonymous said...

fetus,
tu est très incroyable e drôle!
je t'aime!
je veux mon chien!!

luv ya dog!

 
At 5:10 PM, Anonymous said...

Heyy fetus ou are fucking halarious anyway ur mom is such a slut buh u kewl =]

 
At 12:32 PM, Anonymous said...

Fetus, it's been over two months since your last update... I miss reading about your pop trash mommy and retard daddy.

 
At 4:54 PM, bad credit home equity line said...

A

 
At 6:54 PM, Anonymous said...

im sorry your momy is very stupid and your daddy is a bitch but i luv you fetus!

 
At 3:09 PM, Anonymous said...

Just to let you know i found this great place to make holiday cards. They are usually like $20 but free if you click on this link. I am going to put my christmas letter and favorite family picture in them for christmas cards this year. If your interested

http://www.vistaprint.com/vp/gateway.aspx?s=9171591673

 
At 7:02 PM, sunnysunshine said...

I feel so soory for you fetus!

 
At 12:05 PM, Anonymous said...

Please write more Fetus!

 
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At 5:04 PM, Jake said...

Yay, your real father is Justin Timberlake. You have a small penis, and are going to have a 90.9% change of being gay. Sorry...

 
At 11:13 PM, Anonymous said...

Hey Fetus, U Should Kill Ur Mommy

 
At 4:08 PM, bob said...

hi fetus

 
At 12:36 PM, Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA YOU SUCK PERSSURN BURNT HOT DOGS!! HAAHA!! YOU INBRED YOU SUCK YOUR MOTHERS TITS!!! (id like to suck you moms tits too but stilll she not family of me so thatd be all right) and you gotta a redneck white trashy bitch dad bitch

 
At 11:59 PM, Anonymous said...

W..T...F is going on on this site! there was no birth post! wtf?!?

 
At 9:49 AM, Snyderheyhey said...

ur familly stincks n ur mother is a famous singer who walks around the stage in her underwear, like half of the worls saw her half-naked about 60 times plz dont turn out like her!

 
At 9:46 AM, Anonymous said...

sup fetus can u do me


yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 
At 12:23 PM, Danielle said...

Haha I fill sorry for you fetus ur mum is a skank goodluck growing up kid =)

 
At 6:05 PM, bra said...

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At 9:44 AM, Anonymous said...

UR Daddy songs suck besides ur mommy's the one with the real talent..Daddy k-fed lmao u fuckin suck

 
At 11:46 PM, Anonymous said...

sup.. well.. hmmmm .. i wonder what this is..?!?!?!??!?

 
At 10:26 AM, Anonymous said...

ok ummmmmm u all suck 4 wasting all of ur time ona dumb (not even real) unborn baby talkin 2 u!

 
At 12:02 PM, Razor Blade Kiss Bitch <33 said...

Heyy Fetus:
Don't worry about being gay cause I'm pretty sure that you're not gonna be, since your the only cool one out of the Spears/Federline gene pool. Oh yeah, bout the Tom Cruise thing. Don't listen to him, and keep in mind that Tom Cruise is a fuckin' nut job that dropped out of high school and believes in aliens. Which automatically makes him gay wit John Travolta who also believes in aliens. And another thing bout him: He is not the father of Katie Holmes' baby. The *real* father is some guy named George who lives in Idaho and works in a gas station picking his ass and eating Milk Duds all day. And Tom Cruise is actually gay and if you're not convinced that he is, then just ask Nicole Kidman. Laterz

 
At 6:39 PM, Hilary Duff said...

Baby Spears
This Is Hilary
Well Not Eating
Isn't Going TO Well
I Kind Of Look Like
An Alien Now Too Bad
Well Joel Madden
He Has A Small Penis
And Humps KInd Of Weird
So When You Get Older
I am Going TO Break It oFf
With HIm And Make Sure
Your Not Gay With A
Strip Tease, Or With
Forceful Rape Or Just
Do It With You Mmmkay
Well Call Me When You
Are Able To Talk Now
My Number Is :
up my fake boobs
hilary Duff

 
At 2:41 PM, Anonymous said...

damn, a fetus doing a blog. now i really have seen it all. kiddo, id divorce my parents and sue them for mental trauma, i mean, just having those two trashbags for parents is grounds enough. take it easy little baby...

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous said...

the above post was made by womblegod from EVE-ONLINE. please, please, please do another podcast, this is brilliant!!!!!!!!

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous said...

the above post was made by womblegod from EVE-ONLINE. please, please, please do another podcast, this is brilliant!!!!!!!!

 
At 9:20 AM, Jackson said...

lol this is awsome. I'll be adding this to my favourites!

 
At 6:51 AM, Anonymous said...

thermo



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At 5:13 PM, Anonymous said...

id like for you to stick your wet tongue up in my pussy

 
At 1:47 PM, Zazabar said...

eww, yucky ducky.

 
At 3:26 AM, Anonymous said...

stupid

 
At 11:09 AM, Anonymous said...

dear fetus,
your daddy is a white trash wanna be rapper and your mommy is a has been whore....


good luck kid
loveage-
-kelly

 
At 7:35 AM, Anonymous said...

Your not gay preston!! good luck you can make it ;) kill your mom ;)

 
At 7:08 PM, Anonymous said...

What is this??? O_O!

 
At 5:42 PM, Anonymous said...

your going to beeeee reallyyyy hotttttt when you get older heeey tell your mom to come to sugar city idaho and get me and we can go SHOPPING!!!!!! that would be fun but g2g soo love ya later
kiss kiss

 
At 5:44 PM, Anonymous said...

hey preston that was funn last night!! we sould do it again!
loves all night long

 
At 9:09 PM, Kari said...

Happy pills ARE gay

 
At 11:25 PM, Anonymous said...

man this is heeeelarious! lol
go and fuck up your daddy's life! rock on! \m/

 
At 4:46 PM, Anonymous said...

this is a weired site and a really dont know what it is on about please tell me whats goin on PLEASE PLEASE xxxxx

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous said...

This is a great example of how freedom is being abused in fucking America. Your site sucks bigtime! Leave the freaking unborn alone....

 
At 11:56 AM, Anonymous said...

YO FETUS,
SUUPPP???
KEEP BLOGGING, ME JULIE/ ME BITCH

 
At 5:08 PM, Anonymous said...

hey hey hey little fetus what are you doing it must get boring in there

 
At 7:09 PM, another one said...

what the fuck is this blog?

 
At 1:59 PM, Anonymous said...

hey my name iz celeste.
any sexy guys out there?

omg go 'ed girl! KILL YSLF!


c ya nxt mnth!

wha' up bitch?!

 
At 2:10 PM, Anonymous said...

hi!it's moi... celeste!

spears is a f***ing whore
u suck!die on yr mm's penis!

b a bd boy nd b gay
u go hilary!

lve ya bunday a.a.f s.s.s



f***= fucking

 
At 10:29 PM, Anonymous said...

fucking update u fucking whack offs!

 
At 1:05 PM, Anonymous said...

Funniest shit I have ever read! LMAO at white trash w/ money!

 
At 7:27 AM, Anonymous said...

AWESOME SITE!!! PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!

 
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At 12:51 PM, Anonymous said...

okay look, u r kool BUT u're mom is a slutty idiot, and u're dad is a laid back, no talent gold digger

 
At 6:37 PM, Anonymous said...

all you people are fucking idiotts lol but funny

 
At 4:01 AM, Anonymous said...

yay!!! is she gonna just off herself or cut her wrists or maybe she'll hang herself!!! preston, you have to tell us when she dies and how.

 
At 4:18 AM, Anonymous said...

a few words about your dad:
now i aint saying he a golddigger but sumone payin for his maltliquer now i aint sayin hes a golddgigga checkout the bling on his stinkfinga go head dad get down get down go head dad get down your a dead beat dad with a rich ass wife your no rock star u cant even act and u dance lika a fat kid on crack

 
At 10:15 AM, Anonymous said...

wow.. people must have worked really hard on this.

 
At 1:14 AM, Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA!!! lmfao! so funny! i love it

 
At 2:07 PM, Anonymous said...

brittany sucks

 
At 10:23 PM, Paris Hilton said...

Hey,
This is Paris Hilton. Have you learned how to talk yet? We should do a sex tape sometime. Like a Rugrats' Night in Paris! LOL! Oh and don't worry, just because your daddy is gay, doesn't mean you will. I know he is gay because theo ther night in a club I hit on him and he showed me his Gucci purse. Little gay fag. Also, Happy Pills aren't gay, but Tom Cruise is! Well, call me, I am sure Lindsay should be loosing her phone and the numbers in it pretty soon. I am under the category "Slutty Whore Friends"!

That's Hot!

 
At 10:28 PM, Lindsay Lohan said...

Hey,
This is Lindsay Lohan. I love your new song called "Lost in the Cocaine of Kevin"! It really speaks to me! But really kid, don't get addicted to the stuff, it can do some weird things to ya, believe me, I know. If you are hooked, I have a number you can call, just let me know. I am sorry you're getting a new baby sibbling. Looks like the public will be focused on them for a while. Anyway, call me if you want a "Cocaine Comeback!

Love ya!

 
At 8:44 AM, Anonymous said...

your dad is like a big fat gay man prostitute

 
At 5:24 AM, britney fan said...

Why is everyone so nasty. I love britney.

 
At 4:05 AM, HateYou said...

I dont think this is funny.You dont know what you are in.Get yourself sued for all I care.

 
At 4:10 AM, youaresuchadowngrader said...

You can really do anything to achieve fame!Including down grading yourself!My,my you are impressive!

 
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At 9:12 PM, Martee said...

awww... I love you fetus!can't wait till september for your new sibling to arrive!

 
At 1:00 AM, yougogirl said...

um interesting blog.
i didnt know fetus can type.

 
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At 6:49 PM, Britney For Pres said...

well good thing we have a new celebrity (upcoming) to take her place. :)

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i love celerities...

 
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