I Can Take Paris's Medecine!

I'm always disgusted when I see a celebrity twice my age acting like she's ten years younger than me. Honestly I usually try to keep my mouth shut about it... I don't like sticking my nose in other peoples business but this whole "in again - out again" thing with Paris and prison is totally really starting to upset me. Celebrates like me are no different from me or you. And we all (we celebrities I mean) need to learn that. We shouldn't get free passes when we get caught doing something stupid or drinking under age. Personally I think the treatment Paris is getting now is even kind of deplorable. She's practically in a 5 star suite compared to what regular person in her situation would get.

That's why to prove to the world that we celebrities really are no different than normal people I would like to make an offer to the L.A. County Department of Justice. Send me to jail. That's right I want to prove that I can take what Paris Hilton couldn't. I want to do a full 45 days in an actual factual prison. I want to sleep with thugs and murderess. I want to eat slop. I want to shower with thirty other women. I don't care; I can handle it because I'm a real person. And I know what you're all saying... she's only a kid she'll get killed in there. Well to that I say I'd like to see someone try. My friend Nicholas Cage set me up with lessons from his very own Shaolin Master and I was a very apt pupil. I can now take out men 8 times my size. Master Qoa Lin says that when I'm fully grown I will actually be able to disable a stampeding elephant with my bare hands in under 6 seconds. So if some burly prison girl comes at me with a whittled down spoon she'll be on the floor before she even knows what happened. Seriously I will be Queen of Whatever Prison you send me too.

If legally I have to do something illegal for you to throw me in Jail just tell me what it is. Something that would get me in there for about 45 days. I'll break a window or something like that. I know it's wrong but in the end it's for a good cause. (I'll even pay for the person to get a much nicer window... and maybe even a new house like in that extreme makeover show. Maybe I'll break a poor person’s window!) But I'll do it to show the world a lesson. Celebrities are not above the law... and I'm way tougher than Paris Hilton.

BTW: You guys should write in with fun ways for me to get myself sent to jail!

DAKOTA WHO?

Check out the trailer for this new movie The Golden Compass



Uh… so does someone want to explain to me who this person is? Dakota Blue Richards, are you serious? I mean it’s not enough that this girl is trying way too hard to look like me (which she totally doesn’t) but she has to go out and steal my name to get a part that should be rightfully mine to begin with? Come on! I mean how man Dakotas have you met in your life that aren’t states. I’ve met one; me. Now there’s two of us and we just both happen to be child actresses? You can’t even argue with me that it’s a coincidence. She’s ripping me off whole sale! Even if that id her actual name. She should have had the good taste to change it. It’s like if your name was Picasso and you were a painter. You know what you’re doing, you know everyone is gonna think your that more famous good painter. That’s exactly what this girl is doing!

I want her to change her name. It shouldn’t even be an option. The screen actors guild should make her do it. Heck can’t she just be “Blue Richards”? Isn’t that name distinctive enough? But I guess distinctive isn’t what this little identity thief is going for anyway. She wants a free ride on my hard work cause lord knows she’s not gonna be starring in any stupid talking polar bear movie based on her own talent.