Good god, we have gotten so fat that our children are being born fat asses now. ABORT ABORT!
Child preachers are insane...obviously. This video has the ten craziest 'little ones' to ever condemn your soul to eternal damnation.
Who could forget about the child stars of the 80's? Choose and match the child tv star with their grown up self!
"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."
Jessica is the world's fattest child – and American. It's bizarre that this news story is done by German television, but it just makes me think of that chocolate-loving foreign exchange student on the Simpsons, and I giggle. P.S., you'll probably recognize her sofa-dance.
Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.
Sure it's pretty, but who wants to cut away their skin so they can have pretty scars? This guy does, that’s who.
What you're seeing here is the dreaded Child Monster of the Sea trying to choke and kill the singer Seal.
This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.
Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
Just to teach the parents a lesson the robot should have eaten the little child. How funny would that have been?
This is the highest pinnacle of parenting possible. Any of you Nancy boys who "love" and "care" for your child are just a bunch of tools.
When Michael Jackson died, his soul went into this small child. The kid is now a very talented...but hopefully headed down a different path. Say No to Propofol!!!!