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Helga Mohammed

Useless Child

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
Dec 6 2007

Good god, we have gotten so fat that our children are being born fat asses now. ABORT ABORT!


 
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Useless Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Dec 6 2007

Good god, we have gotten so fat that our children are being born fat asses now. ABORT ABORT!




 
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Child Beater

By: LG Staff
Date: Aug 8 2007

Attention abusive dads! Child abuse is not funny unless you are a ninja.




 
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Traumatizing Your Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 5 2012

But just a little bit.




 
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Ruin Your Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Dec 16 2011

And create a future serial killer, with this simple Christmas prank.




 
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Another Useless Talent

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 30 2012

Talking backwards, is it really a talent?




 
 
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10 Craziest Child Preachers

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 30 2009

Child preachers are insane...obviously. This video has the ten craziest 'little ones' to ever condemn your soul to eternal damnation.




 
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Michael Jackson Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Sep 15 2006

Sometimes you just need to rest your head in the crotch of a pop star.




 
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Child TV Star Match Up

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 11 2009

Who could forget about the child stars of the 80's? Choose and match the child tv star with their grown up self!




 
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How to Learn a Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Oct 19 2007

"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."




 
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Fattest Child in the World

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 27 2007

Jessica is the world's fattest child – and American. It's bizarre that this news story is done by German television, but it just makes me think of that chocolate-loving foreign exchange student on the Simpsons, and I giggle. P.S., you'll probably recognize her sofa-dance.




 
 
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Sweet Child OMine

By: LG Staff
Date: Feb 23 2011

Amazing cover.




 
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Molested as a child

By: LG Staff
Date: Dec 21 2007

Sure it's pretty, but who wants to cut away their skin so they can have pretty scars? This guy does, that’s who.




 
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Child Star Almost Dies

By: LG Staff
Date: Jul 21 2006

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.




 
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Child Tries To Choke And Kill Seal

By: LG Staff
Date: Aug 6 2008

What you're seeing here is the dreaded Child Monster of the Sea trying to choke and kill the singer Seal.




 
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Best Speech Given By A Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 6 2011

This kid is just so excited about learning to ride a bike.




 
 
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Child Catches and Possibly Murders Huge Fish

By: LG Staff
Date: Aug 11 2009

This girl is like Survivorman, but a lot more talented.




 
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BRIT TO GIVE BIRTH TO 2ND DEVIL CHILD

By: LG Staff
Date: Mar 10 2006

This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.




 
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Cereal Straws

By: LG Staff
Date: Jul 10 2007

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.




 
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Suck My News Weekly TomKat Plans Alien Child

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 24 2005

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.




 
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Giant Robot Scares Kid

By: LG Staff
Date: May 11 2012

Just to teach the parents a lesson the robot should have eaten the little child. How funny would that have been?




 
 
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Toddling Tupac

By: LG Staff
Date: Nov 6 2007

This is the highest pinnacle of parenting possible. Any of you Nancy boys who "love" and "care" for your child are just a bunch of tools.




 
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This Kid Can Bust A Move

By: LG Staff
Date: Jul 28 2009

When Michael Jackson died, his soul went into this small child. The kid is now a very talented...but hopefully headed down a different path. Say No to Propofol!!!!




 
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Zebra Snack

By: LG Staff
Date: May 3 2012

What's one less child?




 
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Six Year Old Girl

By: LG Staff
Date: Oct 11 2011

Plays Sweet Child O' Mine.




 
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Cool Shoe

By: LG Staff
Date: Dec 6 2006

Makes the zipper in my KangaRoos look useless.