Wanna know how to have the safest Halloween ever? Well Jack O. Lantern can show you and your friends how to be SUPER SAFE during this spooktacular fun day!

Send this e-card to your friends, family, or even those you hate. A LiquidGeneration E-Card never discriminates!

Proving once again that if New Jersey is the armpit of America, Philadelphia is that part near your scrotum that you never wash. Is that harsh?

We like it when Linday Lohan tries on shoes. And so do you.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

Now that they're in a better place, let them take you to a better place!

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

The Nintendo Wii has been out for how long now? Haven't we learned that if you're old and have a camera pointed at you, you should probably not being playing with the Wii? In these circumstances, you can never win.

If you have big boobs, you might need to put something between them that gives them support. It's a great, totally sexy idea! Not really!

We show you the picture of a girl's face and you have to guess whether she's a hotty or a big fat lady! It's hard. That's what she said!

Halloween can be scary, but if you look at it in the right light it can also be scary sexy!

Ugh. We identify too much with this. Too much. We are crying right now. Crying. We hope you, too, can feel his pain if you're not fat. Today, we're all fat kids.

We show you a clips of some of the best action movies ever and you have to finish the line of dialog that got cut off!

These jugs have been drinking all day. It’s time you give them a Breathalyzer test.

Both of these Battlestar beauties can be found in the latest Maxim magazine, which we guess is still around and trying to make you horny.

If you're going to get more alcohol, make sure your body can actually handle more alcohol.

Columbus discovered America! You can discover whoose boobs these are!

Take the quiz to see if you're going to end up a drunken wreck like Amy Winehouse.

Help these famous cinematic porkers out by finishing their lines so they can get back to eating. They’ll eat you if you get the answer wrong.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.