Make a video game controller out of anything. |
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FAT KONG |
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Crackhead at Funeral |
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Slinky on a treadmill |
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Wheel of Fortune Fail |
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17-year-old Pistol Whips Her Mom For a Car |
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Lindsay Lohan's Boob Song |
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Sexy or Ugly Friend? |
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Color Vision Deficiency |
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How did she even do that?
Would you stick your finger inside this hole.
Famous people who killed another person. A few obvious, more recent examples, but some that might surprise you (stick around for number 1.)
Famous people who killed another person. A few obvious, more recent examples, but some that might surprise you (stick around for number 1.)
This is a woman who is clearly familiar with double-stick tape. But maybe she needed to air them out?
This is a woman who is clearly familiar with double-stick tape. Maybe she wanted to air them out?
Not to be a hater, but if he'd only stuck the landing.
Should have stayed away from the sweatshirt.
Here's one hell of a creative way to get it out.
With the recent attempt by Amtrak to cause a riot aboard a Baltimore to Philadelphia train, I thought this would be a good time to compare U.S. train travel to that of Japan. After drawing up a table of comparisons, I realized I was wasting my time. I think these two pictures carry the message.
Japan:

United States:


As some of you may have guessed, my thoughts on Christmas are a little conflicted. It's not like I have a vendetta against it like some people think. I mean, good for them. They managed to co-opt the solstice celebration. I'm not crazy about it, but it's not like I don't put up a tree and a few wreaths.
The thing that drives me nuts is the Santa Claus thing. Namely the notion that I invented Santa Claus to take the spotlight off Jesus during his birthday. Some say his name is "Santa" because it's just "Satan" with the "N" placed in front of the "T". I feel slightly insulted by the notion that I can turn into a serpent on a whim and tempt Eve out of paradise, but that when concocting a campaign to influence every Christian child in the world for hundreds of years I would just spell my name with a few letters switched around.

You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.
Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
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The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.

Sociopathlete: Sal Alosi, Strength and Conditioning Coach, New York Jets,
Former Linebacker, Hofstra
We learned today that Alosi has been suspended indefinitely (his suspension was previously scheduled to be up at the end of this season) when the Jets "found out" that he had ordered players to form a wall along the sidelines in order to impede Dolphins special teamer Nolan Carroll if he ventured out of bounds. Alosi stuck his leg out, tripped Carroll, and is now awaiting his sportsmanship award from Jets coach Rex Ryan. The other shoe may not have dropped in this case, since the notion of a strength coach taking it upon himself to order inactive players to interfere with punt coverage in an organized manner seems a bit far-fetched. If it came from above, or even from the top, this could place the entire Jets franchise in the pantheon of sociopathletics.
Shooting a watermelon, off someones head, from 200 yards away...skill or stupidity?
Shooting a watermelon, off someones head, from 200 yards away...skill or stupidity?