OTHER COOL STUFF

 

Painting a Wall

Painting a Wall

To one of the most beautiful songs written.

 
LG Staff Author Image

Painting a Wall

By: LG Staff
August 03 2011, 7:59 AM

To one of the most beautiful songs written.

 

 
LG Staff Author Image

Why This Week Is Going To Be Awesome

By: LG Staff
December 14 2010, 4:54 PM



Yes it’s Tuesday, but that doesn’t mean the week is gone; we still have four more days to fail at everything we’ve set out to accomplish on Monday. Like telling you why this week is going to be awesome. Keep on reading, we have proof! 


1. There are 10 more days until Christmas. This means you have just enough time to shop for decent presents without everything being sold out (and don’t forget about free shipping). You still have time to make those cool photo books in iPhoto instead of buying another framed picture or those horrible electronic picture frames which never look good and never work. You have just enough time to send out Christmas cards and perhaps even hand write them instead of doing a Google search of “Fat Santa Sitting At The Computer” and sending it out to everybody like you’re Corky from Our House. There’s still time to break up with your girlfriend and not look like a dick (cut off date is, like, today tho). You can also take these 10 days to invite as many ladies over to your place as you can to watch Love Actually and try to get laid. Other Christmas movies might work, but this one is the best. And quickly, you have 10 days to eat, sleep, drink, smoke, gamble and commit just about any act of excess without it looking too bad. It’s Christmas after all.

2. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are divorced. Now it’s in poor taste to celebrate any one's heartbreak, but please. This is not only a victory for the Free The World’s Boobs From Douche Movement, but victory for those us delusional enough to think they might someday have a chance with Scarlett.


3. THIS IS THE WEEK WE SOLVED AIDS - Kinda! An HIV-man who underwent stem-cell treatment transplant has been cured as a result of the procedure. This seems like good news for science and bad news for zombies because we’re gonna cure that ailment next! 


4. It’s this easy to rip off a casino these days. Remember in Oceans 11 when Brad Pitt had to hire a little Asian man and 10 other movie stars to break into a Casino and rob the crap out of it? Well it turns out that was all just a waste of fake, Hollywood money! All you need to do is walk into a casino with a motorcycle helmet on your head and in two minutes you’re a millionaire! 


5. You have 15 days to find or hire a date for New Years Eve. This is a long time to find a date, even for losers, which is why we mentioned you also hire a date because that is always more fun. 


Have a great rest of the week!

 

 
Tom L Author Image

Talking Points

By: Tom L
November 16 2010, 4:00 PM

The objective of any social situation is to make everyone else feel dumb and always have the last word. Here are a few issues to discuss at tonight's dinner engagement, and a couple ways you can be a pompous, know-it-all prick when talking about them.

Talking Point: Obama's Asia trip was a disaster!
Anyone who brings this up is probably referring to Monday's Slate article written by Eliot Spitzer. But you don't have the schooling to discuss international politics! Divert attention from the real issue by taking a cheap shot at Spitzer for the prostitution scandal (which I'd estimate is still 2 years away from being stale) by doing something like pretending to confuse Spitzer with Charlie Sheen, then exclaiming "Oh sorry, I can't imagine how I mixed those two up!" to peals of laughter. Fair warning, though, in the wrong crowd this could lead to an earnest discussion of Two and a Half Men.

Talking point: Prince William is marrying a commoner!
Key know-it-all prick info: The notion that British royals are bound to marry other royals is actually false (note the use of the word "actually" here. "Actually" is a really good way to sound like a know-it-all prick). They've been marrying outside their own ranks for years. And thank god, because they were becoming known for their inbreeding. As for any issues the Queen has about the marriage, whip this one out: According to George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion, "It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him"! Everyone is sure to laugh uproariously at this, and you'll be remembered for the most deftly applied Shaw quote of the season!

Continue reading...

 
LG Staff Author Image

Trailer for Facebook Movie Released

By: LG Staff
June 28 2010, 10:01 AM

 

Directed by David Fincher, written by Aaron Sorkin...it'll be brilliant or pure pop culture crap. Either way, I can't wait.

 

 

 
LG Staff Author Image

Get Excited: Taylor Lautner Is On It's Way!

By: LG Staff
May 20 2010, 7:45 AM

We know it's fashionable to make fun of Taylor Lautner, the kid with the six-pack abs from Twilight. But we're not a-holes. We recognize Taylor's genius and that's why we're excited for a new comic book about the Half-Wolf Hero that will be in our sweaty hands come August. Just look at this cover:

 

The day that this is released is going to be the best day in the world. And this post is totally written without irony.

 


The response to the Epic Beard Man video on YouTube has reached "epic" proportions (get it!?!), so much so that YouTube has modified their comment system to help commenters better understand the type of things they should write in response to the fight video. The changes are highlighted below in the pretty red box and they seem to be working, check it out for yourself. Great job, YouTube!

 
LG Staff Author Image

Grammar Is Hard

By: LG Staff
February 10 2010, 10:41 AM


Those people that pick on you for writing and talking funny. This is the face they make when they correct you.

 


Hey, it's me again. LiquidGeneration's illustrator and functioning illiterate. Hola!

So I came across this weird website, ChatRoulette.com. It's a website that connects you instantly with a random stranger. Only you don't just chat, you interact with webcam and audio (you have the option to turn these off, but I never do because I like being creepy). Sounds exciting, right?

I ran some numbers on the site because I like math. The average age of the people chatting is about 20-years-old, though I did see a couple of kids and a man with a beard so long and gray he reminded me of Santa (my hero!).

The gender ratio is really imbalanced. For every 20 guys there is 1 girl (and even a couple girls that are really dudes). Most of the people are just guys with a frowned faces looking pathetic and depressing. It depressed me even just looking at them for half a second.

There are some girls, however most of them are too ugly to get a date.  Then there are the mixed groups of guys and girls sitting at the computer together, which I guess is a little better than sitting there by yourself looking like a serial killer.

If people don't want to show their faces, they usually put signs up in place of themselves. They write things like "Tits or GTFO." I even saw a teddy bear wearing dark shades with a note that read "Cure My Blindness, Show Your Tits." So I did, even though mine are really small. The most shocking sign was "Show Tits for Haiti." I didn't do this because that would be wrong. And again, my boobs are really small and mannish so what would be the point? I'm not on the internet to upset people.

One of the more disappointing moments came when I chatted with a guy for a whole minute. I asked him to make a peace sign because I wanted to see if he'd follow my commands like a monkey, but he just smirked, flipped me off and disconnected!  

So go ahead, talk to strangers! It's fun!

Also! Here are my statistics for approximately 100 chats I had on ChatRoulette these past two days. "Others" consist of pets, stuffed animals and drugs. Yes, somebody wanted me to talk to their bong.



And just so you get a sense of the type of people going to ChatRoulette, her are some of our favs that we found during our chat sesh:

 

He's going to snipe your penis! Watch out!



NBA superstar look alike Yao Ming! :p



i wish they all could be California girls.

 
LG Staff Author Image

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Prank

By: LG Staff
January 29 2010, 8:24 AM

Somebody - probably somebody on the internet! - has taken it upon themselves to write to religious talk shows and tell them a little story about the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Sometimes people have too much time on their hands, and thank God for that.

 

And here's another....

(via HolyMoly)

 
Chuck McCarthy Author Image

A Monkey Could Write This Blog Post

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 26 2010, 8:03 AM


Some of you may know that besides writing blog posts about teen superstars and my eventual relationship with Dakota Fanning, I am also a screenwriter. I have written four feature screenplays, and of course, like 99% of all screenwriters, no one has even ever volunteered to read one of my scripts, much less produce it or air it a global television network (not even Spike).

Now, I wouldn't call any of my scripts works of total genius. They have mostly been exercises in futility with the hope of honing a skill that I can later sell to other poor schmucks that think that their story is worth seeing brought to life by Zach Efron and Suri Cruise (Silly Saturday rated PG for simulated farting noises). This said, I do think that all of my scripts are entertaining, and are better, more interesting than something say... A MONKEY COULD PUT TOGETHER! But I guess some "chaps," or more so, some "chimps,"  over at the BBC would disagree.

Apparently some chimpanzees have made a movie, and the BBC is going to air it despite a very weak plot line, worse cinematography than "Death Proof," and a total and blatant disregard for a hundred years of film making. Breaking the rules is something every aspiring filmmaker should try, but you have to understand the rules you are breaking to be groundbreaking.

Of course, just like James Cameron's Avatar, people are going to ignore all these flaws because of the fact that the chimps were using a new and special "chimp-proof camera" camera or "chimpcam." So what?! I've got a "chimp-proof camera." It's called a Flip HD.

Where can I go from here? I have hit rock bottom. I will never amount to anything. Maybe I should just start writing my outlines and treatments with my own poop.

Seriously, guys, chimps, bros, I'd love to work with you guys. I really respect your work and I have an outline for a ten movie series about a monkey named HAX. The whole thing is very high concept, so I can't say anything else without a deal in place. You love bananas. I love bananas. We could run this town. It's gonna be... bananas. Oh yeah, I definitely think we can get Gwen Stefani on board to do the soundtrack... yeah, and Ryan Gosling has already expressed interest.

"Take your stinking paws off my film industry, you damn dirty chimps!"  -Chuck McCarthy

 

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration today! 

 
Chuck McCarthy Author Image

Serena Williams, 3 Million Dollars, and Tampons

By: Chuck McCarthy
January 11 2010, 1:25 PM


When I was asked to write for Liquid Generation, my first though was, "Yes!" My second thought was, "What the F am I going to write about that people are going to care about?" I have no idea what is going on in the world, and I'm sure that you, the LG reader, don't want to hear about my mom making hats, my roommate Kate eating all my potato chips, or my inability to feel... anything... in my heart... I am dead inside... 

So what did I do? 

I did some research. I turned to THE source for mainstream pop culture here in the United States of America, M MagazineGuess what. I was not disappointed.

Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin).  Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.

Okay, you got me. It's not an article. It's an ad for Tampax tampons, the most ridiculous ad for tampons I have ever seen, and completely indicative of the kind of slovenly work that is being done in every corner of print media - people all around are doing crappy jobs. 

I couldn't find out exactly how much Serena is getting paid to endorse Tampax, but taking into account how much she has been paid for other endorsement deals, it is probably somewhere in the area of $3 million. The photographer who shot this ad probably made at least a couple of grand for a couple hours work. The art director's copy editors, and everyone involved made a good amount of money from putting this ad together, yet they picked the photo that looks like Serena is squeezing out a fart, not celebrating victory. 

Maybe it was all Serena's fault. Maybe she never gave them the right look. 

All I am saying is that if you paid me $3 million, I would start using tampons, I would make the right face in the photo shoot, and I could probably even take the picture myself... I have a camera with a timer on it.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

 
LG Staff Author Image

Let's Rank The Hotness of Tiger Woods' Lady Friends

By: LG Staff
December 07 2009, 1:52 PM

 

Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.

So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!

In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...

 

8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"

 

7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.

 

6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.

 

5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!

(click here to see the rest of the list)

 
LG Staff Author Image

Britney Spears' Biggest Fan

By: LG Staff
December 02 2009, 2:22 PM

 

 

Wow. We thought we were obsessed with Britney Spears. Not compared to this dude, who gets the award for BIGGEST BRITNEY FAN WHO'S PROBABLY IN JAIL NOW FOR TALKING TO YOU ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS SO MUCH. The above photo shows him wearing a bunch of Britney pins and he even made her a cake for her birthday! Note that he made this cake for a cardboard cutout! Respectible! (Not really!). The rest of this article from Buzzfeed goes on to show a bunch of essays he wrote about the pop princess,  a family Christmas card featuring Brit, and more stuff that makes you wonder whether or not this kid grew up to kill his parents.

(via Buzzfeed)

 

 

 

Holy crap, you guys. You want to show the girl (or guy!) you want to bang that you're interested in them? Write them a love letter - using Google Docs! It works, just watch this video! Because seriously, when we think of love letters, we're sooooo 2K9 that paper and pencil - or even regular ol' email -- doesn't even cross our minds. No, we're from the future! We write with tools from the future! We collaborate online! Just like this dude here, who from what we can tell is a total virgin! I mean, who wears turquoise shirts! Virgins, that's who!

 

 
3dW4RDMYLUVAH88 Author Image

TWILIGHT WAS AHHHMAZING

By: 3dW4RDMYLUVAH88
November 20 2009, 9:41 AM

 

After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

 


OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.

SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE  EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!

!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!

LOVE YOU.

 

 
Helga Mohammed el-Salami Author Image

Dear Helga I Gained Weight

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
November 18 2009, 5:28 PM

Dear Helga,

I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?

Dear Tenner,

Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.

Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.

Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.  

Love,

Helga

Helga Mohammed el-Salami

Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com

Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com

Or, better yet, get bent.

 

 

Kristin Cavallari's Flat Butt Doesn't Bother You

Kristin Cavallari's Flat Butt Doesn't Bother You

The fact that you can write a check on her butt doesn't mean you don't fantasize about her reject you.

 
liquidadmin Author Image

Statement of Use

By: liquidadmin
January 01 2009, 2:42 PM

Your Acceptance

BY USING AND/OR VISITING THIS WEBSITE (collectively, including all Content available through the liquidgeneration.com domain name, the "LiquidGeneration Website", the "LG Website", or "Website"), YOU SIGNIFY YOUR ASSENT TO BOTH THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS (the "Terms of Service") AND THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF LIQUIDGENERATION'S PRIVACY NOTICE, WHICH ARE PUBLISHED AT http://www.liquidgeneration.com/PrivacyPolicy.aspx, AND WHICH ARE INCORPORATED HEREIN BY REFERENCE. If you do not agree to any of these terms, then please do not use the LiquidGeneration Website.

2. LiquidGeneration Website

These Terms of Service apply to all users of the LiquidGeneration Website, including users who are also contributors of content, information, and other materials or services on the Website. The LiquidGeneration Website may contain links to third party websites that are not owned or controlled by LiquidGeneration. LiquidGeneration has no control over, and assumes no responsibility for, the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third party websites. In addition, LiquidGeneration will not and cannot censor or edit the content of any third-party site. By using the Website, you expressly relieve LiquidGeneration from any and all liability arising from your use of any third-party website. Accordingly, we encourage you to be aware when you leave the LiquidGeneration Website and to read the terms and conditions and privacy policy of each other website that you visit.

3. Website Access

  1. LiquidGeneration hereby grants you permission to use the Website as set forth in this Terms of Service, provided that: (i) unless you are the content's original creator, you will not copy or distribute any part of the Website in any medium without LiquidGeneration prior written authorization; (ii) you will not alter or modify any part of the Website other than as may be reasonably necessary to use the Website for its intended purpose; and (iii) you will otherwise comply with the terms and conditions of these Terms of Service.
  2. In order to access some features of the Website, you will have to create an account. You may never use another's account without permission. When creating your account, you must provide accurate and complete information. You are solely responsible for the activity that occurs on your account, and you must keep your account password secure. You must notify LiquidGeneration immediately of any breach of security or unauthorized use of your account. Although LiquidGeneration will not be liable for your losses caused by any unauthorized use of your account, you may be liable for the losses of LiquidGeneration or others due to such unauthorized use.
  3. You agree not to use or launch any automated system, including without limitation, "robots," "spiders," "offline readers," etc., that accesses the Website in a manner that sends more request messages to the LiquidGeneration servers in a given period of time than a human can reasonably produce in the same period by using a convention on-line web browser. Notwithstanding the foregoing, LiquidGeneration grants the operators of public search engines permission to use spiders to copy materials from the site for the sole purpose of creating publicly available searchable indices of the materials, but not caches or archives of such materials. LiquidGeneration reserves the right to revoke these exceptions either generally or in specific cases. You agree not to collect or harvest any personally identifiable information, including account names, from the Website, nor to use the communication systems provided by the Website for any commercial solicitation purposes. You agree not to solicit, for commercial purposes, any users of the Website with respect to their User Submissions.

4. Intellectual Property Rights

The content on the LiquidGeneration Website, except all User Submissions (as defined below), including without limitation, the text, software, scripts (except where explicitly stated), graphics, photos, sounds, music, videos, interactive features and the like ("Content") and the trademarks, service marks and logos contained therein ("Marks"), are owned by or licensed to LiquidGeneration, subject to copyright and other intellectual property rights under United States and foreign laws and international conventions. Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only and may not be used, copied, reproduced, distributed, transmitted, broadcast, displayed, sold, licensed, or otherwise exploited for any other purposes whatsoever without the prior written consent of the respective owners. LiquidGeneration reserves all rights not expressly granted in and to the Website and the Content. You agree to not engage in the use, copying, or distribution of any of the Content other than expressly permitted herein, including any use, copying, or distribution of User Submissions of third parties obtained through the Website for any commercial purposes. If you download or print a copy of the Content for personal use, you must retain all copyright and other proprietary notices contained therein. You agree not to circumvent, disable or otherwise interfere with security related features of the LiquidGeneration Website or features that prevent or restrict use or copying of any Content or enforce limitations on use of the LiquidGeneration Website or the Content therein.

5. User Submissions

  1. The LiquidGeneration Website may now or in the future permit the submission of videos or other communications submitted by you and other users ("User Submissions") and the hosting, sharing, and/or publishing of such User Submissions. You understand that whether or not such User Submissions are published, LiquidGeneration does not guarantee any confidentiality with respect to any submissions.
  2. You shall be solely responsible for your own User Submissions and the consequences of posting or publishing them. In connection with User Submissions, you affirm, represent, and/or warrant that: (i) you own or have the necessary licenses, rights, consents, and permissions to use and authorize LiquidGeneration to use all patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright or other proprietary rights in and to any and all User Submissions to enable inclusion and use of the User Submissions in the manner contemplated by the Website and these Terms of Service; and (ii) you have the written consent, release, and/or permission of each and every identifiable individual person in the User Submission to use the name or likeness of each and every such identifiable individual person to enable inclusion and use of the User Submissions in the manner contemplated by the Website and these Terms of Service. For clarity, you retain all of your ownership rights in your User Submissions. However, by submitting the User Submissions to LiquidGeneration, you hereby grant LiquidGeneration a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, sublicenseable and transferable license to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform the User Submissions in connection with the LiquidGeneration Website and LiquidGeneration's (and its successor's) business, including without limitation for promoting and redistributing part or all of the LiquidGeneration Website (and derivative works thereof) in any media formats and through any media channels. You also hereby grant each user of the LiquidGeneration Website a non-exclusive license to access your User Submissions through the Website, and to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display and perform such User Submissions as permitted through the functionality of the Website and under these Terms of Service. The foregoing license granted by you terminates once you remove or delete a User Submission from the LiquidGeneration Website.
  3. In connection with User Submissions, you further agree that you will not: (i) submit material that is copyrighted, protected by trade secret or otherwise subject to third party proprietary rights, including privacy and publicity rights, unless you are the owner of such rights or have permission from their rightful owner to post the material and to grant LiquidGeneration all of the license rights granted herein; (ii) publish falsehoods or misrepresentations that could damage LiquidGeneration or any third party; (iii) submit material that is unlawful, defamatory, libelous, threatening, harassing, hateful, racially or ethnically offensive, or encourages conduct that would be considered a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, violate any law, or is otherwise inappropriate — unless it's really, really funny; (iv) post advertisements or solicitations of business; (v) impersonate another person. LiquidGeneration does not endorse any User Submission or any opinion, recommendation, or advice expressed therein, and LiquidGeneration expressly disclaims any and all liability in connection with User Submissions. LiquidGeneration does not permit copyright infringing activities and infringement of intellectual property rights on its Website, and LiquidGeneration will remove all Content and User Submissions if properly notified that such Content or User Submission infringes on another's intellectual property rights. LiquidGeneration reserves the right to remove Content and User Submissions without prior notice. LiquidGeneration will also terminate a User's access to its Website, if they are determined to be a repeat infringer. A repeat infringer is a User who has been notified of infringing activity more than twice and/or has had a User Submission removed from the Website more than twice. LiquidGeneration also reserves the right to decide whether Content or a User Submission is appropriate and complies with these Terms of Service for violations other than copyright infringement and violations of intellectual property law, such as, but not limited to, hardcore pornography or defamatory material. LiquidGeneration may remove such User Submissions and/or terminate a User's access for uploading such material in violation of these Terms of Service at any time, without prior notice and at its sole discretion.
  4. In particular, if you are the original creator of User Submission that you believe was uploaded in violation of your rights, simply e-mail us and we'll delete it. Otherwise, there's a little more to it (see next item).
  5. if you are a copyright owner or an agent thereof and believe that any User Submission or other content infringes upon your copyrights, you may submit a notification pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act ("DMCA") by providing our Copyright Agent with the following information in writing (see 17 U.S.C 512(c)(3) for further detail):
    1. A physical or electronic signature of a person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed;
    2. Identification of the copyrighted work claimed to have been infringed, or, if multiple copyrighted works at a single online site are covered by a single notification, a representative list of such works at that site;
    3. Identification of the material that is claimed to be infringing or to be the subject of infringing activity and that is to be removed or access to which is to be disabled and information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to locate the material;
    4. Information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to contact you, such as an address, telephone number, and, if available, an electronic mail;
    5. A statement that you have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and
    6. A statement that the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury, that you are authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.

LiquidGeneration's designated Copyright Agent to receive notifications of claimed infringement is infringement@liquidgeneration.com. You acknowledge that if you fail to comply with all of the requirements of this Section 5(E), your DMCA notice may not be valid.

  1. You understand that when using the LiquidGeneration Website, you will be exposed to User Submissions from a variety of sources, and that LiquidGeneration is not responsible for the accuracy, usefulness, safety, or intellectual property rights of or relating to such User Submissions. You further understand and acknowledge that you may be exposed to User Submissions that are inaccurate, offensive, indecent, or objectionable, and you agree to waive, and hereby do waive, any legal or equitable rights or remedies you have or may have against LiquidGeneration with respect thereto, and agree to indemnify and hold LiquidGeneration, its Owners/Operators, affiliates, and/or licensors, harmless to the fullest extent allowed by law regarding all matters related to your use of the site.
  2. LiquidGeneration permits you to link to pages on the Website but reserves the right to discontinue any aspect of the LiquidGeneration Website at any time.

6. Warranty Disclaimer

YOU AGREE THAT YOUR USE OF THE LIQUIDGENERATION WEBSITE SHALL BE AT YOUR SOLE RISK. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, LIQUIDGENERATION, ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, AND AGENTS DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, IN CONNECTION WITH THE WEBSITE AND YOUR USE THEREOF. LIQUIDGENERATION MAKES NO WARRANTIES OR REPRESENTATIONS ABOUT THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THIS SITE'S CONTENT OR THE CONTENT OF ANY SITES LINKED TO THIS SITE AND ASSUMES NO LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY (I) ERRORS, MISTAKES, OR INACCURACIES OF CONTENT, (II) PERSONAL INJURY OR PROPERTY DAMAGE, OF ANY NATURE WHATSOEVER, RESULTING FROM YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF OUR WEBSITE, (III) ANY UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO OR USE OF OUR SECURE SERVERS AND/OR ANY AND ALL PERSONAL INFORMATION AND/OR FINANCIAL INFORMATION STORED THEREIN, (IV) ANY INTERRUPTION OR CESSATION OF TRANSMISSION TO OR FROM OUR WEBSITE, (IV) ANY BUGS, VIRUSES, TROJAN HORSES, OR THE LIKE WHICH MAY BE TRANSMITTED TO OR THROUGH OUR WEBSITE BY ANY THIRD PARTY, AND/OR (V) ANY ERRORS OR OMISSIONSIN ANY CONTENT OR FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE OF ANY KIND INCURRED AS A RESULT OF THE USE OF ANY CONTENT POSTED, EMAILED, TRANSMITTED, OR OTHERWISE MADE AVAILABLE VIA THE LIQUIDGENERATION WEBSITE. LIQUIDGENERATION DOES NOT WARRANT, ENDORSE, GUARANTEE, OR ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY PRODUCT OR SERVICE ADVERTISED OR OFFERED BY A THIRD PARTY THROUGH THE LIQUIDGENERATION WEBSITE OR ANY HYPERLINKED WEBSITE OR FEATURED IN ANY BANNER OR OTHER ADVERTISING, AND LIQUIDGENERATION WILL NOT BE A PARTY TO OR IN ANY WAY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MONITORING ANY TRANSACTION BETWEEN YOU AND THIRD-PARTY PROVIDERS OF PRODUCTS OR SERVICES. AS WITH THE PURCHASE OF A PRODUCT OR SERVICE THROUGH ANY MEDIUM OR IN ANY ENVIRONMENT, YOU SHOULD USE YOUR BEST JUDGMENT AND EXERCISE CAUTION WHERE APPROPRIATE.

 

 

7. Limitation of Liability

IN NO EVENT SHALL LIQUIDGENERATION, ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, OR AGENTS, BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER RESULTING FROM ANY (I) ERRORS, MISTAKES, OR INACCURACIES OF CONTENT, (II) PERSONAL INJURY OR PROPERTY DAMAGE, OF ANY NATURE WHATSOEVER, RESULTING FROM YOUR ACCESS TO AND USE OF OUR WEBSITE, (III) ANY UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO OR USE OF OUR SECURE SERVERS AND/OR ANY AND ALL PERSONAL INFORMATION AND/OR FINANCIAL INFORMATION STORED THEREIN, (IV) ANY INTERRUPTION OR CESSATION OF TRANSMISSION TO OR FROM OUR WEBSITE, (IV) ANY BUGS, VIRUSES, TROJAN HORSES, OR THE LIKE, WHICH MAY BE TRANSMITTED TO OR THROUGH OUR WEBSITE BY ANY THIRD PARTY, AND/OR (V) ANY ERRORS OR OMISSIONS IN ANY CONTENT OR FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE OF ANY KIND INCURRED AS A RESULT OF YOUR USE OF ANY CONTENT POSTED, EMAILED, TRANSMITTED, OR OTHERWISE MADE AVAILABLE VIA THE LIQUIDGENERATION WEBSITE, WHETHER BASED ON WARRANTY, CONTRACT, TORT, OR ANY OTHER LEGAL THEORY, AND WHETHER ORNOT THE COMPANY IS ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. THE FOREGOING LIMITATION OF LIABILITY SHALL APPLY TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW IN THE APPLICABLE JURISDICTION.

YOU SPECIFICALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT LIQUIDGENERATION SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR USER SUBMISSIONS OR THE DEFAMATORY, OFFENSIVE, OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT OF ANY THIRD PARTY AND THAT THE RISK OF HARM OR DAMAGE FROM THE FOREGOING RESTS ENTIRELY WITH YOU.

The Website is controlled and offered by LiquidGeneration from its facilities in the United States of America. LiquidGeneration makes no representations that the LiquidGeneration Website is appropriate or available for use in other locations. Those who access or use the LiquidGeneration Website from other jurisdictions do so at their own volition and are responsible for compliance with local law.

8. Indemnity

You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless LiquidGeneration, its owners, employees and agents, from and against any and all claims, damages, obligations, losses, liabilities, costs or debt, and expenses (including but not limited to attorney's fees) arising from: (i) your use of and access to the LiquidGeneration Website; (ii) your violation of any term of these Terms of Service; (iii) your violation of any third party right, including without limitation any copyright, property, or privacy right; or (iv) any claim that one of your User Submissions caused damage to a third party. This defense and indemnification obligation will survive these Terms of Service and your use of the LiquidGeneration Website.

9. Ability to Accept Terms of Service

You affirm that you are either more than 18 years of age, or an emancipated minor, or possess legal parental or guardian consent, and are fully able and competent to enter into the terms, conditions, obligations, affirmations, representations, and warranties set forth in these Terms of Service, and to abide by and comply with these Terms of Service. In any case, you affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the LiquidGeneration Website is not intended for children under 13. If you are under 13 years of age, then please leave LiquidGeneration immediately — there are lots of other, more pleasant web sites out there that won't horrify your delicate parents. Talk to your parents about what sites those might be.

10. Assignment

These Terms of Service, and any rights and licenses granted hereunder, may not be transferred or assigned by you, but may be assigned by LiquidGeneration without restriction.

11. General

You agree that: (i) the LiquidGeneration Website shall be deemed solely based in California; and (ii) the LiquidGeneration Website shall be deemed a passive website that does not give rise to personal jurisdiction over LiquidGeneration, either specific or general, in jurisdictions other than California. These Terms of Service shall be governed by the internal substantive laws of the State of California, without respect to its conflict of laws principles. Any claim or dispute between you and LiquidGeneration that arises in whole or in part from the LiquidGeneration Website shall be decided exclusively by a court of competent jurisdiction located in Los Angeles County. These Terms of Service, together with the Privacy Notice at http://www.liquidgeneration.com/PrivacyPolicy.aspx and any other legal notices published by LiquidGeneration on the Website, shall constitute the entire agreement between you and LiquidGeneration concerning the LiquidGeneration Website. If any provision of these Terms of Service is deemed invalid by a court of competent jurisdiction, the invalidity of such provision shall not affect the validity of the remaining provisions of these Terms of Service, which shall remain in full force and effect. No waiver of any term of this these Terms of Service shall be deemed a further or continuing waiver of such term or any other term, and LiquidGeneration's failure to assert any right or provision under these Terms of Service shall not constitute a waiver of such right or provision. LiquidGeneration reserves the right to amend these Terms of Service at any time and without notice, and it is your responsibility to review these Terms of Service for any changes. Your use of the LiquidGeneration Website following any amendment of these Terms of Service will signify your assent to and acceptance of its revised terms. YOU AND LIQUIDGENERATION AGREE THAT ANY CAUSE OF ACTION ARISING OUT OF OR RELATED TO THE LIQUIDGENERATION WEBSITE MUST COMMENCE WITHIN ONE (1) YEAR AFTER THE CAUSE OF ACTION ACCRUES. OTHERWISE, SUCH CAUSE OF ACTION IS PERMANENTLY BARRED.

 
liquidadmin Author Image

About Liquid Generation

By: liquidadmin
January 01 2009, 2:38 PM

About Us

 

Liquid Generation has been corrupting the internet since 2000. We make funny, irreverent entertainment for web junkies and procrastinators of all types. From cartoons to videos, from games to online pranks, we do it all and we do it awesome.

Whenever you’re alone. Whenever you want to avoid work. Whenever you have no one to hug.

Liquid Generation is here to serve you.

We Love You,

Liquid Generation

P.S. You can write to us at talkback@liquidgeneration.com

 

Talk to LG


We at Liquid Generation love it when friends, family, and personal enemies write to us with suggestions on how to make this website better. You should also feel free to email us if you find anything on the website that’s confusing, missing, spelled incorrectly, or just doesn’t work. We will promptly bring the wrongdoer out to the woods behind our office and shoot them to death.

However, if you just think that one of our animations, games or videos sucks, just keep those niceties to the comment section in each feature, loser.

You can email us at Talkback@liquidgeneration.com

 

Our Team

Tyrese – Imperial Warlord

Tyrese Abdul Salaam Mohammad is Liquid Generation’s Imperial Warlord. Not much is known about His Excellency, except that he’s evaded numerous attempts on his life by the rival warlords that once roamed the dangerous streets in his hometown of Highland Park, IL. Now in California, Tyrese enjoys bonsai gardening and yo-yo dieting.

Email: tyrese@liquidgeneration.com

Slippy Jenkins – Head Writer

Slippy Jenkins is the Head Writer at Liquid Generation. His responsibilities include the writing of things that are funny, as well as making sure that everything that goes up on Liquid Generation doesn’t suck. He and the LG creative team have been responsible for hundreds of popular cartoons, games and online tchotckies that have been seen by millions of people around the world and featured in the Chicago Sun-Times, Entertainment Weekly, Maxim Magazine, US Weekly, Defamer, Best Week Ever, G4TV, CNN, and one of his mother’s favorite “trash mags” Star Magazine, among others. He would like you to know that the previous sentence sounds really good when justifying his trade of penis & fart jokes to friends, family and potential girlfriends. Slippy Jenkins would also like you to know that his LG Sabotage screams are the direct result of pure talent and not of any vocal steroids, alcohol, street drugs, or other performance enhancers.

Slippy Jenkins currently lives in Los Angeles with his Roomba.

Email: slippyjenkins@liquidgeneration.com

Monkey - Creative Director

Monkey began his illustrious career on the Internet by freelancing as a web designer. He was well known for creating some of the gaudiest self-serving Flash sites on all of the internets. He quickly joined the ranks of LG when they were headed in the direction of a Teen Portal. Soon after, Monkey and the other early members of LG realized that a Teen Portal was not the direction they should be going in, they should be making funny animations and games. Monkey’s illustration talents soon came into play and he began illustrating and animating for LG. Monkey soon realized that his years as a failed musician could also come in handy. He applied his talents to making LG’s famous PopToons -- the internet’s most sought after animated music videos starring celebrities. But, Monkey had another talent that his mother didn’t even tell him about: voiceover acting. Ever since he found out the he was one of the most talented voice actors to hit the “web stage,” he began doing most of the voices on the site, and continues to do so to this day. Monkey loves long walks on the beach, and bragging about his title of Liquid Generation’s own Creative Director.

Email: themonkey@liquidgeneration.com

Helga Mohammed el-Salami – Chief Technology Officer

Helga Mohammed el-Salami, Secretary of Email Defense, Code Bitch, pre-operative transsexual.

Mr./Ms. el-Salami was an early convert to the Internet Revolution when, somewhere over a decade ago, he/she stole the source code from an early web page and boldly changed the header text. Since then, he/she has stolen code from tens of thousands of sources and appropriated it for Liquid Generation’s nefarious purposes. Some may have even been yours.

Several years ago, Mr./Ms. el-Salami had been charged with maintaining visitor satisfaction by serving as Liquid Generation’s email liaison. A job that, if judging by the volume of anger flowing through the mailroom, he/she has not been doing all that well

In his/her spare time, which we desperately try to minimize, Mr./Ms. el-Salami enjoys reading books and memorizing the Koran although he/she has had a hard time reconciling the teachings of the prophet with his/her desire to be the first trans-gendered lesbian. But regardless of his/her personal hurdles, Helga Mohammed el-Salami remains a soul seduced by the Internet’s romance. And its pornography.