Ukrainian Parliament

In a cynical age of constant media and shameless consumerism, it's nice to find a story that reminds you what Christmas is really about: simmering anger that inevitably builds to an eruption of violence. The Ukrainian parliament recently brawled over... um... you know what? Who cares? It's Christmas. According to Ukrainian officials, this Parliamentary brawl was "worse than normal". Keep in mind that Ukraine is the place where Viktor Yushchenko was poisoned during his 2004 presidential bid. Definitely watch the video; it's at the end of the article. I might move here.

You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here  are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.

Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
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Basically, I don't think this could have been worse.

Seriously, I think you have to try and park this badly.

All things considered, it could have ended a lot worse.

This guy's hilarious and, you know what, it does sound like a terrible school trip!

Nothing quite like compiling people at their worst.

If I were that guy, I'd throw her out of the shop.

I'm sure I've eaten it worse than this.

It's like watching a 'Little Britain' skit, brought to life.