The Wonder Years would have been pretty boring without the bad guy from Home Alone narrating, not Joe Pesci, the other guy.

"Man kid, your face looks so funny, I bet your mom is ugly as hell. I can hear my eyes blinking and I am friggin hungry. Give me that damned cake!"

Diana Ross thought that no one would recognize her without makeup. Unfortunately an old woman died of a heart attack when she mistook Mrs. Ross for Death.

Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

MC Hammer's career could be revitalized if he teams up with Andrew Meyer and his line of genius "Don't Tase Me Bro!"

"Ma'm are you aware that your crotch is starring at me? And why do the curtains not match the carpet?"

Son where's your ice cream? "Well Louis C.K. stole it, ran away, and then...oh you'll never believe me..." I don't even believe the part about you knowing Louis C.K.

"I love her so much, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve." Barf! Nothing says "Take me back." like a tattoo of your ex's titties. Classy man.

Bush is literally a butt hole, or to be more precise… many butt holes. Check out this pic of the President made of many tiny little stinkers. Did he just wink at me?

"I have such a busy day ahead of me, I have to get these groceries home before they thaw out"

Mr. Artiste could have made me anything in the world and he chooses to make me a bald, naked, fat man.

Britney Spears proves that she can leave the house without looking like a Hurricane Katrina victim.

Paris Hilton has begun her promised change for the better. Here she is holding a baby without dropping it or feeding it Frosted Cocaine Flakes.

'Follow me, everything is alright, I'll be the one to rape you tonight, And if you want to leave, I can guarantee, You won't leave very easily"

Hello and welcome to whoose boobs, the only on-line game hosted by me; internet sensation Tay Zon Boobs!

ROBO-BABY MAKES ME SCARED! COMPUTERUS IS SHUTTING DOWN!

If you try to tell me this video is fake I will punch you in the butthole.

Now who halps me drag to fud bowl?

Pam Anderson and David Spade were caught playing "slutty Hooters girl and handsy buffalo wings lover" recently, and now I'm totally freaked out. Gross.

Jessica is the world's fattest child – and American. It's bizarre that this news story is done by German television, but it just makes me think of that chocolate-loving foreign exchange student on the Simpsons, and I giggle. P.S., you'll probably recognize her sofa-dance.