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Scarecrow Wino will frighten crows away from your crops, but she'll introduce your kids to heroin first!
Amy Winehouse has emphysema. This is terrible news for the disgusting lice that lives in her beehive.
There's a catch, they used tape and a guitar to cover the nasty bits so you're eyes wouldn't be as scared as Amy's arm after a night with Blake and crack.
Seriously, if you are rich then you have no excuse looking ugly. You need to be perfect, that means having ALL of your teeth. We are looking at you Winehouse!
Winehouse spent the weekend basking in the warming glow of the sun. Hey its better than the soft glow of a coke spoon.
Wino has a drug problem, she cancels tours, and wears pants 3 sizes too small. Someone needs to buy her some new pants, that’s some nasty muffin top.