Classic SNL skit where "Tom Brokaw" tapes possible outcomes if Gerald Ford were to die. I personally like the wild dogs attack.

The magic of abuse, over-eating, over-drinking and smoking (plus a little help from our friend Photoshop) tranforms this good-looking hipster into a slob. Wild!

I saw this lady waiting for the bust the other day in West Hollywood. You know I hope that bus didn't clash with her outfit.

Wow. K-Fed played the West Hollywood Halloween parade. What a douche.

You should have seen her try to get the bugs off her eyeballs.

Lance is out, Al Qaida wants war, and the Tour De France is a crack house. Philip Norris is on the scene – unless he gets hit by the Girls Gone Wild bus.

Nothing is hotter than watching a bunch of Islamic chicks get their freak on under their Burkas.

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

Watch Kanye West make an argument for why he should win a Grammy Award. This guy is a total douche bag.

This week Kanye West discusses his homophobia, Wal-Mart hires illegals, 50 Cent teaches us how to read, and Michael Jackson uses the women’s bathroom.

Britney’s Baby is out of the womb and already he’s complaining about daddy being a Gold Digger. Here’s parody of Kanye West’s ‘Gold Digger’.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.