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Why is she important? Because she's wearing a bikini, that's why. These things tend to be the most important thing in the world around here.

(more pics of Titney at TheSuperficial)
We have no proof, but the proof is in the pudding that is her crusty face and terrible weave, right (did this sentance even make sense?)? Whitney Houston looks like she's smoking the crack again! And who is that man standing next to her? Did he step out of a Run-DMC video or something. Sick hat, G!

(photo via Splashnews.com)
Is that hair or just part of the bikini we're looking at? Confused.
If it's not, than you're not ready to hit the beach, either!
Listen kids, love will not keep you together. Crack might, just look at Whitney and Bobby at Joe's Crab Shack
Water merely distresses Whitney; if you get Bobby Brown wet, however, he turns into a gremlin.
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.