The only black thing on this cover is the type setting.

… because we can’t let the terrorists win.

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night, only to find this creature rummaging through your trash bin? Ewww!

Awww dressed up like Snow White, rabies all of a sudden isn't so scary.

Did you know your trash was helping control the chipmunk population?

In theaters 2-15-08. A family settles into its vacation home, which happens to be the next stop for a pair of young, articulate, white-gloved serial killers on an excursion through the neighborhood.

Someone left Dina Lohan in the dryer too long and she done shrunked. 3 feet or not, she still plans on furiously ruining her daughters life.

Are you as revolted by the Meg White Sex Tape as this reporter is? We hope so.

Lindsay Lohan has either been working out in rehab, or hiding coke in her trunk. Skinny drug addict white girls don’t have butts like this. We smell trouble!

Brits will pay $1,500 for a new sport stiletto designed by failed artists at Fisher Price. Designed for the Socialite on the go, this shoe is sure to scream "Special Olympics".

Heidi Montag took the form of a great white shark and nearly swallowed her Hills arch enemy LC. Unfortunately, neither was injured.

White water rafting with a cat can be dangerous. And not just because of the claws!

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

Seriously, Mom, you're getting lazy. How long before you can't wear those white pants any more?

Michelle Trachtenberg posed with friends at a Halloween party last year... and DAMN! Now I want to French-kiss Snow White.

Call us cruel, but we love it when some jackass is screwing around and gets the short end of fate's stick. Especially when they're dumb white kids from the 'burbs and they're screwing around in their buddy's crappy Accord.

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

White people are always keeping the black man down.