Heidi Montag took the form of a great white shark and nearly swallowed her Hills arch enemy LC. Unfortunately, neither was injured.

White water rafting with a cat can be dangerous. And not just because of the claws!

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

Seriously, Mom, you're getting lazy. How long before you can't wear those white pants any more?

Michelle Trachtenberg posed with friends at a Halloween party last year... and DAMN! Now I want to French-kiss Snow White.

Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

Call us cruel, but we love it when some jackass is screwing around and gets the short end of fate's stick. Especially when they're dumb white kids from the 'burbs and they're screwing around in their buddy's crappy Accord.

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

White people are always keeping the black man down.

American Idol Sanjaya has a white mom – and she got busted for weed!

90% of these girls live in Orange County.

Legally we can't say WHAT that white-ish substance that Nicole appears to be snorting, but I'm calling it out as chaz.

Is that a white residue better known for lining the nostrils of Hollywood's biggest partiers? Or are we just jerks?

Our console-by-console march continues with the original Playstation, or PSX, as those of us in the know call it. The X is because Playstation didn’t want to take the name of its white slave masters as its own.

What happens when a dorky white guy takes a chickenhead out on a date? Let's watch and see!!

It's like magic shoes for the white and rhythmless! Don't leave home without it!

The cake got 5 full pages, but the rest of the wedding album featured the bride and groom: a tiny Japanese immigrant woman and her white, 350-lb. programmer husband.

I didn't even know WTF "ghost riding" *was* before I saw this. Now we know EXACTLY why it's so stupid.