The black and white cat is really determined to understand what's going on. But, I think the white cat just wanders over to provide moral support.

Rue McClanahan (1934-2010)

I'm not promoting anything, Homeland Security can worry about REAL things, but...tonight, West Hollywood will burn!!! People will take to the streets, move Betty White to an undisclosed safe house, and challenge Death to a duel. It'll kinda be a practice for the Rapture, since the same people will be around for both.

I'm not joking, does anyone have a visual confirmation on Betty White? This is not a drill, much like Highlander (a movie or TV show I've never actually seen), there is only one Golden Girl *sob*

American Apparel just ended their Best Bottom In The World contest; you can see the top three butts right here. There were over a thousand entries, and the winner will be flown to LA for a special photoshoot, but if their really lucky they'll probably be sexual harrassed by CEO Dov Charney (yippee!)!

This competition is a little crazy. I mean, forget about the Top 3 Best Butts...here are the Top 20. For the life of me I cannot figure out what is wrong with any of these or how one can be better than the other. They all look the same and by "same" I mean I would shoot a dozen puppies just to see them in person. Don't believe me? Just try it, ladies! Come to my office and see what will happen!

But what about the big time losers in this contest? Did anybody really submit a butt that wasn't attractive? I clicked my mouse over a hundred times to find out.

THE TOP 5 UGLIEST BUTTS IN THE WORLD

Now, there were a bunch of people with scores of zero. We're not going to count those because they probably entered the contest late and their butts are just too nice to be losers, so we suspect there is a glitch in The Matrix. We just took the lowest of the scores that weren't 0.0. Here's what we found.

5. Carlos. Score: 1.24

Why did they let dudes enter this contest? A major fail on the part of the organizers. Plus, his photo is in black & white. Fail on top of Fail.

4. Alisa. Score: 1.22

I'm not sure where the ass is on this lady, or if it's really a lady. It could be a dude like Carlos. I don't really want to investigate any further.

3. JL. Score: 1.21

Hairy legs! A Sure winner we tell you (maybe in Afghanistan)!

2. Shyla. Score: 1.19

Am I missing something? Where is this lady's butt? Did it fall off on her way to the meth lab? I really want to know as to avoid the town she live in.

And the #1 Ugliest Butt In The World....

1. Raggedy. Score: 1.17

There is no cottage cheese in this woman's butt. It's pure milkshake. 2%. And thank God she's wearing black underwear. We don't really want to know what's happening behind that bikini.

(via American Apparel's Best Bottom Contest)

In this CNN clip covering the 2006 Winter Olympics, Shaun White throws down some amazing cover-up skillz! We wish we would have said this when our parent' smelled 5 gallons of Vodka on our breath!

You know when you get really drunk and high from huffing spray paint (gold) out of a paper bag (brown) and you and your friends come up with the most AMAZING idea? These are the greatest ideas, right? Right?

What do you think would happen if for some reason you had access to all the elements and ingredients to make your ideas reality... Yeah and your grandparents owned some sweatshops where 12-year-olds slaved away making socks for the British Premier League, so you have a big trust fund. Basically, you have infinite resources. What do you think would happen?

Yeah, besides the first ever monkey, marshmallow go-cart champion being crowned, (Mr. Chattlebanks), because that's awesome.

What would happen?

You would make some pretty awful stuff, stuff that would amaze people on one level and one level only. Yeah, the "why-the-F-did-this-ever-get-made-and-who-thought-that-this-was-a-good-idea-were-they-high-on-gold-spray-paint?" level. You got it!

Oh, you want an example of this kind of idea brought to fruition?

How about this video where an underage white girl runway model, Karlie Kloss, claims to be from St. Luis and then plays ping pong with Notorious Wally Green?

Did that illustrate my point? Did I have a point?

I guess my point is that money is no substitute for talent and true genius, and neither is gold... spray paint.

P.S. JD Ferguson directed the above video. Is he the greatest director of our time?

Disclaimer: I did no research whatsoever into how this video actually came about, and I know nothing about JD Ferguson.

Let me paint a picture of a man-boy, a legend in the making. This man-boy lives in the woods of the great northwest - Jack London territory - Twilight territory - Kurt Cobain land... you know, like around Seattle.

He lives like a James Bond-Goldilocks, sneaking into people's houses, stealing planes (he learned to fly from video games), stealing speedboats, using night vision goggles to hunt and live off the land, and supplementing his diet with pizza that he has delivered to the woods. Not too hot -not too cold - extra cheese and just right.

The painting of this legend gets bolder, more intricate with every detail, with every stroke of the brush, and I'm not done stroking.

Like Yogi Bear he doesn't wear shoes while snagging "pic-a-nic" baskets, but he isn't stopping at sandwiches, and Park Ranger Smith isn't the only one he is outsmarting. The police and FBI are hot on his trail for over 50 alleged burglaries. Did I mention that he likes to take "cheeky" pictures of himself with victims' digital cameras (in my book this means pictures of his penis wearing sunglasses)?

Who is this man-boy, this 18yr old legend in the making?

Have you heard of Colton Harris-Moore?  You just did. Oh, and Jason Bourne... GFY!

Watch the video below, and read these articles to find out more.

Now that you are on Team CHM (Facebook Fanpage alert!) and love him more than Jacob Black, would you pre-order a copy of his video game?

What would you call his video game?

What would you call his movie?

Do you think that Mercedes should be paying him for his endorsement?

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

Very rarely do I ever have any serious desire to meet celebrities. This is partly because, like I pointed out before, I am pretty out of touch with pop culture, and partly because I have met a bunch of celebrities. Most of the time, they are very disappointing - douches.

Sitting here in my coffice (coffee shop + office) next to the Gaming Club (they play board games here twice a week) I don't feel too Hollywood, though I guess I am... since I live in Hollywood. But, I didn't move out here because it was my dream to hang out with Paris Hilton or pal around with Wilmer "Yo Mama" Valderama. These Gaming Club guys can get a little rowdy, but I can tell you from experience, they are much less annoying to be in the same room with than the Valderama.

This said, I have to admit that every once in a while I hear enough about a famous person that I actually want to meet them, to see what they are really like.

I have been feeling this way about Lady Gaga for a while now for a couple of reasons. First, she kind of reminds me of my week long high school ex-girlfriend Larkin Grimm (a weirdo musician in her own right) and a couple of other girl friends (friends that are girls). This feeling of familiarity is all about her general craziness and desire to dress to impress or offend. Second, she kind of looks like my old boss Suzie from Liberty Curio, a junk shop that I worked at selling junk on Ebay and Craigslist.

Recently (30 minutes ago after I read her Wikipedia entry), I started to feel a desire to meet Ke$ha too. I don't know how much of her Wikipedia entry is true, but she had me at "breaking into Prince's house." Anyone crazy enough to enter Prince's domain uninvited... wow. Throwing up in Paris Hilton's closet is pretty cool too. Plus, she is hot, really hot, and like me and Lady Gaga, she likes to hang out in her undies.

I know I said I don't like blondes in my post about Chuckota (super celebrity couple Chuck McCarthy and Dakota Fanning), but I am pretty sure that neither Ke$ha nor Lady Gaga are real blondes. Moreover, I just want to meet them, get to know them. Dating is a long way down the road. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I might hate both of them in real life.

Anyway, I decided that I am going to try to meet and hang out with Lady Gaga and Ke$ha. This is where living in Hollywood comes in handy. I am fairly confident that I can track them down. Los Angeles is big, but not that big.

I already found both of their Myspace profiles, and friended them. I hope they accept. Lady Gaga was online when I sent her the request, so maybe she will get back to me soon!

Let me know if you have any advice... or if you are Ke$ha or Lady Gaga, let's hang.

We can only understand a little of these girls are saying. It seems like they need your help cleaning the house. And something about them needing to find some crystal meth, rob a bank and knife your mother in the throat. Not quite sure. Our Spanish isn't that good.

Introducing the lonliest man in the universe. His name is Edward A. Copernicus, and the last girlfriend he had was a special little female crayfish he found in the lake beside his parent's house. He courted her for weeks, and then he pulled out her legs one by one. Why? Because he's probably going to be a serial killer when he grows up and this is just what they do.