The year is 2012 and the Kardashian family's giant boobs, butt, and stupidity have taken over the world. It's your job to put a stop to them.

This has to be a prank, right? If not, these people need some family therapy.

From the family dog.

Did something seem off about the Emmys or was it just us?

It's incredibly good, but still kinda weird.

Ruined by their dog.

Even a tramp needs the support of her family.

Will someone explain this one to me?

How to stop bed-wetting through public humiliation.

This show has so many classic screw-ups.

Newly elected West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin taught us all a valuable Christmas lesson on Saturday, when he attended a family Christmas party. No big deal, right? Except that it was during the voting for the DREAM act and the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal. The Senator inspired slackers everywhere by not showing up to do his job and instead going to a party, then proceeded to inspire blowhards everywhere by criticizing the DADT decision that he didn't see fit to vote on. The Senate is currently rescheduling important votes to make sure they don't conflict with Manchin's anniversary, birthday, or his niece's piano recital. One thing's for sure, though. Republicans will not be able to accuse the Democratic Manchin of being "at war with Christmas".

With the recent attempt by Amtrak to cause a riot aboard a Baltimore to Philadelphia train, I thought this would be a good time to compare U.S. train travel to that of Japan. After drawing up a table of comparisons, I realized I was wasting my time. I think these two pictures carry the message.

Japan:

United States: