Wait for it...

The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.

Sociopathlete: Brett Favre, Quarterback, Minnesota Vikings
Brett Favre has the distinction of making the sociopathlete round-up merely by playing his sport. His massive ego demands that he keep the spotlight on himself for as long as the media will indulge him. His head coach was just beheaded. His team is 3 and 7 after losing to division rival Green Bay by a score of 31 to 3. At home. He's owed a minimum of 17 million dollars for this effort. And in case you didn't hear, he texted a picture of his penis to a woman who isn't his wife. And it was flaccid.

Sociopathlete: Tony Parker, Guard, San Antonio Spurs
In the "shockingly sociopathletic" category, a Frenchman turned out to be a lecherous cad. Tony Parker didn't cheat on his wife with Erin Barry, wife of former teammate Brent Barry, according to Parker and his people. They were just sexting. Thanks, Tony. For a second we though you were a complete fucking asshole.

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The week ahead holds plenty of possibilities for any T.V. junkie. Here are a few picks you should definitely consider not checking out.

Monday: The Event. It has a backwards "E" in the logo! Don't you understand?! That is AWESOME! It has aliens! And intrigue! Assuming you were as enraged as anyone at the lack of accountability demonstrated in the storytelling of Lost, wouldn't watching this show put you neck-and-neck with a battered woman who meets her next boyfriend in a police drunk tank? The Event airs Monday nights at 9PM on NBC.

Tuesday: NCIS: Los Angeles. Person A: "Who's the special agent in charge here?!" Person B: "Chris O'Donnell." Person A: "I'm serious!" Person B: "So am I." Person A: "Wait, really?" NCIS: Los Angeles airs Tuesday nights at 9PM on CBS.

Wednesday: The Middle. Husband and wife. 3 kids. Oldest, jock. Middle, awkward. Youngest, precociously smart. Were you in a coma for the sitcom era of television? No? Oh, then never mind. The Middle airs Wednesday nights at 8PM on ABC.

Thursday: The Big Bang Theory. Want to see what T.V. writers imagine the extremely educated to act like? You don't have to. It turns out they act like every stereotypical nerd you've ever seen on television and in the movies.  The Big Bang Theory airs Thursday nights at 8PM on CBS.

Friday: CSI: NY. Hey, know what would be interesting? A police procedural about crime scene investigators! Sweet! Hey, know what would also be cool? If there was a version that took place in New York City. Can you imagine? A cop show in New York?! Where's our Emmy?! CSI: NY  airs Friday nights at 10PM on CBS.

Saturday: Click. In case you never saw one of the million and a half student films that tackle the concept of a television remote that influences reality, Fox is running Click, the story of a man with a television remote that influences reality. I wonder if he'll learn a valuable lesson in the end. Click airs this coming Saturday at 8PM on Fox.

Sunday: The Amazing Race. They've had 17 seasons. How can it be amazing if it's been done 17 times? I don't know, but I plan to not find out. The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights at 8PM on CBS.

Half of Saudi women are fat - "Nearly half of Saudi women aged between 30 and 45 years are fat and this makes them more vulnerable to heart diseases, according to a medical study published in a local newspaper on Monday." Mean.

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Lifehacker pretended to be a doctor last week and put together an article about What Alcohol Actually Does to Your Brain and Body. It's long, so grab a drink.

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Speaking of alcohol, doctors are now saying that it's okay to booze it up if you've had Heart Bypass Surgery. Though it's still hard to justify the hookers and blow.

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Men fake orgasms, too. "Several men in the study reported faking an orgasm because they had no other way to end a sexual encounter without awkwardness," says the Fox News article. Wait. FOX NEWS IS REPORTING ABOUT SOMETHING BEING FAKE. OMG, U GUYS!!!!1

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Neanderthals had a naughty sex life. This isn't a medical study per se, but it does confirm our suspicion that damn, we used to be a bunch of sluts, ya'll.

Wait for it, it's funny as heck.

These kids have found the best way to kill time while waiting for the doctor...dance party!

Wait for it, it's totally worth it.

The build-up, watching him silently wait for the song to start, is priceless.

I'm not really sure what they're doing, but I can't wait for the U.S. to co-opt it.

Wait for it, it's totally worth it.

Directed by David Fincher, written by Aaron Sorkin...it'll be brilliant or pure pop culture crap. Either way, I can't wait.

This 17-YEAR OLD girl is one pack of bubble-gum away from becoming a complete and total trainwreck. Sadly, unlike LiLo, 'It's Britney, Bitch', or even old-school Drew B....I can't wait to watch her derail.