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Newly elected West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin taught us all a valuable Christmas lesson on Saturday, when he attended a family Christmas party. No big deal, right? Except that it was during the voting for the DREAM act and the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal. The Senator inspired slackers everywhere by not showing up to do his job and instead going to a party, then proceeded to inspire blowhards everywhere by criticizing the DADT decision that he didn't see fit to vote on. The Senate is currently rescheduling important votes to make sure they don't conflict with Manchin's anniversary, birthday, or his niece's piano recital. One thing's for sure, though. Republicans will not be able to accuse the Democratic Manchin of being "at war with Christmas".
So you're not surprised by what you'll find in the ballot tomorrow, here's a little sneak peak at the California state measures.
It's certainly one way to get a few votes???!!??
The briliant, hipster-y (and annoying!) people at American Apparel are holding one of the greatest contests ever in the history of contests. They are searching for the Best Bottom In The World. You submit a picture of your ass and people vote on it. There's a gallery, a gallery that you can spend the whole night browsing. Really. We got no work done today because all we could do is just flip, flip, flip and fap, fap, fap through the pages of the contest. No, we're not losers. We just appreciate the good things in life. Like BUTTS. Check it out.

This week Philip Norris gives you the lowdown on who to vote for in the upcoming election.
A nice little cat fight between two nobodies who are very jealous of each other. Our vote: Omarosa.
...or how America stoppped believing in democracy and started voting for the machines.
Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!
You should go out and vote today, as Ed Helms and McLovin show; it’s so simple even someone from Pleasantville could figure it out.
Yelling does not make something funny, even when that something is Mormon.
Chris Bosh requests your vote for the NBA All-Star Team. We reccommend writing him in on every other ballot you see in the coming months.
How many of you that voted for him, still think you made the best choice? Wait… are those robot legs!!? AWESOME!
The election season is heating up. Make sure you get out and vote for the candidate who will give you the most sexy time.
And she's worked at Hooters. That's reason enough to vote for him!