Hollywood’s favorite sluts have gotten themselves into a heap of trouble again! This time in a dance club! Also, see how Paris Hilton reacts when she tries to become a virgin! The drama!

A parody of the hit 50 Cent song where Tom Cruise rolls into a candy shop to pick up the last remaining virgin in Hollywood : the young and innocent Katie Holmes.

This is actually art created from colored pencils, but we wanted to make sure the virgins didn't get excited.

We are not quite sure if Bridgette Neilson is trying to strike a pose or frighten a small village into bringing her goods and virgins. Either way, this tranny is hideous.

Ladies and gentleman, we give you the Grand Master Virgin of Tetris.

The Long Island Firecrotch got an early start on the glamorous alcoholism train. I hope those cosmos are virgin!!

More fun than Virgin Air! (Just don't tell the pilot to eat your shorts.)

If you can't say it with a greeting card, say it with a print-out banner outside your dorm.

Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Here are some of the most mystifying Virgin Mary sightings ever captured on film. Kind of.