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Awhile ago we asked for all the ladies out there to take a man's virginity. Well, we need another favor. The man you see below is wearing a Super Mario Bros. sweater and her doesn't have a chance. If there is anyone out there who at least wants to hold his hand, let us know. We know that asking you take take his virginity is like asking you to murder a small puppy, but look at him. He's so....so virgin-4-life-ish. It's sad.

Nothing screams festive like a holiday photo of a scantily clad woman of questionable intelligence posing with her lovely lumps.

Much like Santa's sack, Nadia Suleman's uterus is the gift that keeps on giving. Now, pass the eggnog! (Maybe hold the egg on her's.)
Holy crap, you guys. You want to show the girl (or guy!) you want to bang that you're interested in them? Write them a love letter - using Google Docs! It works, just watch this video! Because seriously, when we think of love letters, we're sooooo 2K9 that paper and pencil - or even regular ol' email -- doesn't even cross our minds. No, we're from the future! We write with tools from the future! We collaborate online! Just like this dude here, who from what we can tell is a total virgin! I mean, who wears turquoise shirts! Virgins, that's who!
Nerd Alert! Dork Alert! Virgin Alert! Whatever the hell you want to call it, we've got a news bulletin: Rickrolling is still popular, as proven by this video in which one nerd punks another nerd by replacing his Call of Duty: Modern Warfare disc with a disc full of Rick Astley. Oh gosh, how adorable.
There's some strong evidence that Stewie may be gay. He may also a virgin until Fran, but these clips suggest Fran might not be his type.
Do you have what it takes to unlock the mystery of Mary Shaw? But be warned, this may make you crap your pants.
They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.
Remember when everybody couldn't wait for her and her sister to turn 18? Yeah, that seems like it was a long time ago.
Hollywood’s favorite sluts have gotten themselves into a heap of trouble again! This time in a dance club! Also, see how Paris Hilton reacts when she tries to become a virgin! The drama!
A parody of the hit 50 Cent song where Tom Cruise rolls into a candy shop to pick up the last remaining virgin in Hollywood : the young and innocent Katie Holmes.
This is actually art created from colored pencils, but we wanted to make sure the virgins didn't get excited.
In theaters 2-29-08. Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson portray Anne and Mary Boleyn, sisters who compete for the affections of King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). What more could you ask for than a royal cat-fight, a beheading and 16th century costuming? Romance
This man has some sort of genetic trait that mutates HPV, causing huge tree like growths to erupt from his body. Where are Mary and Pippin?
You’ve played Bloody Mary when you were younger, now see the illusion. Can you see Bloody Mary?
We are not quite sure if Bridgette Neilson is trying to strike a pose or frighten a small village into bringing her goods and virgins. Either way, this tranny is hideous.
Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!
Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!
Mary-Kate Olsen is now starring in Weeds. She once starred in Full House. Here the two characters meet for the first time.