We would have done the same think If we weren't holding a cup of coffee. And if we weren't a pussy.

This foulmouthed hooligan thinks coffee is for closers.

Bring back The Diesel and put this in the Fast and The Furious 4 and we might buy a ticket.

Can he also clone the girl who apparently does not mind living in squalor as long as he invents uselessly awesome gaming gadgets.

...or how America stoppped believing in democracy and started voting for the machines.

Sharon Stone looks like a raven-haired zombie, sucking the blood of small children out of a cleverly disguised coffee cup.

Have a cup of coffee with Vin Diesel and his band of cracked-out celebrity friends like Leonardo Di Caprio, Martin Scorsese, Julia Roberts and more!

...And he's still an ugly man. Booyah!

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We've secretly replaced Chris Farley's coffee for Columbian crystals. Let's see if he notices.

That's not expensive. Just the other day we had to chop off our collective penis for 1 gallon of Diesel. Our car doesn't even use diesel.

Usually all it takes is coffee to make our ass explode.

People think action movies have the worst dialogue ever written. We respectably disagree. Every word out of Vin Diesel’s mouth is gold.