It's just awesome to watch what the universe is capable of.

Legally, I don't think we're supposed to say anyone is gay...without proof. But, isn't this video proof?

This guy actually sounds and looks like the happiest man in the universe. There should really be a Puppy hate that you can wear at all times. Like a baseball cap with about 9 or 10 puppies that dangle from it and lick your face. You'd never be angry at the world or depressed. It would solve everything.

Look at this sexy R2D2. You think he has a girlfriend? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Yeah, right. WE KNOW.

When we woke up this morning and heard that Tiger was addressing the universe, we really couldn't give a rat's ass. Until we saw him make out with his mother, NOW WE REALLY CARE. Somebody has to stop Tiger Woods. It's getting ridiculous. First he goes and bangs half the porn stars in California and now it appears that he's also banging his mom. THIS IS NUTZO. They say he's in sex rehab, but I just don't know. Does this looks like a dude who's in sex rehab? It looks like a dude who can't say no...to anyone female.

Oh, Tiger. What are we going to do with you? This is just getting awkward.

Well, maybe they didn't do it. But according to this 2012 London Olympics logo, Lisa Simpson did do something nasty to Bart that may or may not be illegal is most of the universe. The British, man. Whether it's driving on the wrong side of the road or their teeth, they always have to be different. And perverted.

Introducing the lonliest man in the universe. His name is Edward A. Copernicus, and the last girlfriend he had was a special little female crayfish he found in the lake beside his parent's house. He courted her for weeks, and then he pulled out her legs one by one. Why? Because he's probably going to be a serial killer when he grows up and this is just what they do.