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Xmas Survival

By: Tom L
December 15 2010, 2:11 PM


You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here  are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.

Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
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Shauna Sand Is Summer

Shauna Sand Is Summer

You don't have to see this girl's face; it's busted. Instead, look at the ocean...the beach...that dude with the towel on his head. If you like, you can also look at Shauna's boobs.

 

Power Towel

Power Towel

Luckily they chant "K" more than three times or else this video would be racist, instead it is just amazing. Go K State!

 

Ping Pong Gun

Ping Pong Gun

How to shoot your friend with a ping pong, a paper towel tube, a little hairspray and a lighter.

 

Britney Undercover as Bad Santa

Britney Undercover as Bad Santa

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

 

Michelle & Lucy Plaster Fun

Michelle & Lucy Plaster Fun

Lucy Pinder plasters Michelle Marsh's breasts. They're making the plaster cast into a towel rack -- get it? Towel rack??

 

Sauna Cellphone

Sauna Cellphone

How do you get phone calls when you're only wearing a towel??